My sister's blog talks about a book she is reading about writing. I think I will get it. Here's a list of rules for a writing exercise:
1. You can't stop
2. You can't cross out
3. Don't worry about punctuation or grammar
4. You must lose control
5. You must not be logical
6. If something comes to you in writing that scares you, you must dive right into it.
Well, in that case... I cleaned my church a little bit yesterday, because our awesome janitor is on vacation. There is something scary about being in an empty building that is usually full of people. I wanted to sing so badly, but I wasn't sure if my pastor was studying in his office. Then I also wasn't sure if he was taking a big dump when I went to do the trash in the men's bathroom... so imagine my awkwardness as I knock on the men's bathroom door in a dark hallway, humming quietly, hoping that they don't watch the security cameras. And also, I don't know how to open a baby gate. The security cameras definitely got that one. I laughed to myself and hiked my pregnant leg over the damn gate after staring at it, then jiggling it for a good 47 seconds.
I ordered my new gauges from Etsy. I can't wait. Everything that I find and love on Etsy ends up being shipped from another country - my headbands are from Australia, my nose ring is from Israel, and these gauges (custom made, yo) are from Canada.
The other night at a friends, we talked about "image management," and how we're always attempting to appear a certain way. It's so true. I appreciate, and perhaps idolize, a certain type of person. I want to be "this" type of person, so I dress that way and adopt lifestyle patterns that match who/what I want to be like. I buy into it. Someone said the other day that on Facebook, we only put the good stuff. I disagreed though. People definitely put the bad stuff too, because a lot of times we find our identity in our crisis or our current state. Imagine this: literally every time I speak to a person and ask what they did over the weekend or how their day has been, they say "Oh, well I have insomnia, so, I didn't do anything," or, "well, I have insomnia so it's been a bad such-and-such." Number one, I know you have insomnia because you've told me 17 times. Number two, don't define yourself by your ailments. THAT IS SO HARD. I know it is. But sometimes we hold on so tightly to the bad stuff going on that it becomes a part of us and that's why it won't get better (not always. I know that our thoughts can't cure cancer - but I do think there is something to say for positivity and quality of life). I think eventually we get to the point where we don't want to give up our shit because then, what would we talk about? Who are we when we're not complaining/bragging about how busy we are? Who am I when I'm just quiet for a second, and not trying to appear a certain way? What's my excuse for not making changes?
At the same time, God created us different. And we are humans. We complain. We hurt, and we shouldn't keep it all in. I'm always looking for that balance, and as you can see from this blog I swing really high in both directions every other day, or few hours.
But, I just "dove into it," (dived?) as the rule commanded me, and when I do that I tend to offend people, mostly because I see things from my perspective, which is based on my circumstances usually. But, I love seeing things from other people's perspective when they're shared with me and going, "Oh wow, yeah. I haven't thought of that before." But then seeing too that we can both learn from each other and grow. How nice. Growth. I love it.
PS. I want this cute baby out of me. Tyler said yesterday, "I want that baby out! So it can be right here!" and patted his chest. I just need to say that I am so grateful and honored to be married to a guy that is so excited to meet our kid. He told me I wasn't allowed to tell people this anymore... so here it goes! When he sleeps, he turns into a seven year old boy. He says things in his sleep all night long, with great emotion and zeal, like "Shan, you are my BEST friend in the whole world! I love you so much," (it's a whisper yell) and tells me I'm his favorite, that I'm the most beautiful girl in the world, etc. It's hilarious and I laugh a lot. Well, earlier this week in the middle of the night, he put his hand on my belly and said, "Uuuugghh, I love this baby so much." So sweet. Puke if you want.
The end.
Tuesday, October 15, 2013
Sunday, October 13, 2013
It's Sunday.
This morning I awoke at 4:30am, as is custom, and thought "Oh my heavens, It's Monday. I'm teaching yoga at 9am and I have not once thought about a class sequence all weekend." Now, it doesn't take me long to throw a class together, but I have found that actually putting thought into the sequence rather than "I'M JUST GONNA KICK THEIR ASSES" works best, because the drill sergeant mentality makes me leave thinking "I made them sweat! I'm that teacher that they think about the next morning when they can't get out of bed." And everyone else just leaves scared and complains that we need a class easier than Basics. There is a disconnect. Oh, but that's another subject.
I also had this extreme feeling of loss, which I couldn't convey in my facebook status. I almost felt empty. I knew it was Monday, and was just upset that I had glossed over my day of rest without thought. It was a sad, but responsible feeling - like, ok, I made a mistake and didn't appreciate my Sunday, and now it's Monday and I will pay for it on the chin. I do that to myself. Though, I'm not sure how I would have paid for it. I guess by not allowing myself to mourn. What a blissful life I lead.
One time I was doing a pose in yoga, and my friend/teacher was smiling at me because she had tried a couple of times to tell me that I was doing the wrong leg. I was so upset with myself for not "listening" and "being quiet" and "paying attention" and "being present" and being "mindful" that I did it twice on that side on purpose, and it burned, and I was sore the next day, and I felt lop-sided... but I DESERVED it. Because of my lack of attention.
Sometimes I think I should be a Monk... but I wouldn't last a day. I just sprinkle Monkishness throughout my life when I'm not allowing myself to bask in the True Comfort of God's Grace.
ANYWAY. Sometimes I want to write a book, when I read people like Ann Lamott or Donald Miller, because I, too, am cynical. But then I realize that my thought process is in 17 places and people would probably have a seizure if they read my book. But, my goals class did make me think "Maybe I'll take a writing class" and stop starting sentences with BUT and using quotes when I'm not supposed to. And maybe I'll wait until I have some life experience, my hair is silver, and young girls think "that old lady is cool."
This morning, church was about Religious Feasts/Rituals, and as you know if you ever read this blog, I love rituals. I like the idea of them, but I don't do them really. I like the idea of lighting a candle at dinner and truly observing the Sabbath. Turning off technology. Truly resting. I like the idea of fasting. Rituals crack my heart in a way other things can't. I often live with the mentality that Jesus came so I can eat real bacon, and I don't have to worry about observing the old law. But. It's good to be reminded. People say you can take communion too much. I say, give it to me every morning when I wake up. My heart is hard, I need to be reminded to Remember.
Anyway, so I busted out Searching for God Knows What again, and I think I'll start Mudhouse Sabbath too. Books that changed my life a bit - sometimes I read them years later and think, "childsplay!" Ha. I'm a child.
I will be going to my friend's house for dinner tonight while Tyler has men from our community group over. I was going to barricade myself in my room with a book, but that's awkward. What if I can hear them talking? What if I have to pee (I will)? So I invited myself over to have dinner with her and her husband. I can't tell you how thankful I am to have relationships like that. I'm going to wear my pajamas.
I think that's all that's in there today. I'm so happy my sister is pregnant. How insane. My baby will just be a little older than her baby. I think about stuff like that now. Oh, our kids can play together. See, I used italics instead of quotes there. Also, saying that I want to take a writing class and admitting that sometimes I imagine writing a book is scary and embarassing, so thanks for your sweet, loving chuckle.
I did set a goal to hang at my yoga studio though. It's this: I will run ten miles a week by May 2014.
Happy Sabbath.
I also had this extreme feeling of loss, which I couldn't convey in my facebook status. I almost felt empty. I knew it was Monday, and was just upset that I had glossed over my day of rest without thought. It was a sad, but responsible feeling - like, ok, I made a mistake and didn't appreciate my Sunday, and now it's Monday and I will pay for it on the chin. I do that to myself. Though, I'm not sure how I would have paid for it. I guess by not allowing myself to mourn. What a blissful life I lead.
One time I was doing a pose in yoga, and my friend/teacher was smiling at me because she had tried a couple of times to tell me that I was doing the wrong leg. I was so upset with myself for not "listening" and "being quiet" and "paying attention" and "being present" and being "mindful" that I did it twice on that side on purpose, and it burned, and I was sore the next day, and I felt lop-sided... but I DESERVED it. Because of my lack of attention.
Sometimes I think I should be a Monk... but I wouldn't last a day. I just sprinkle Monkishness throughout my life when I'm not allowing myself to bask in the True Comfort of God's Grace.
ANYWAY. Sometimes I want to write a book, when I read people like Ann Lamott or Donald Miller, because I, too, am cynical. But then I realize that my thought process is in 17 places and people would probably have a seizure if they read my book. But, my goals class did make me think "Maybe I'll take a writing class" and stop starting sentences with BUT and using quotes when I'm not supposed to. And maybe I'll wait until I have some life experience, my hair is silver, and young girls think "that old lady is cool."
This morning, church was about Religious Feasts/Rituals, and as you know if you ever read this blog, I love rituals. I like the idea of them, but I don't do them really. I like the idea of lighting a candle at dinner and truly observing the Sabbath. Turning off technology. Truly resting. I like the idea of fasting. Rituals crack my heart in a way other things can't. I often live with the mentality that Jesus came so I can eat real bacon, and I don't have to worry about observing the old law. But. It's good to be reminded. People say you can take communion too much. I say, give it to me every morning when I wake up. My heart is hard, I need to be reminded to Remember.
Anyway, so I busted out Searching for God Knows What again, and I think I'll start Mudhouse Sabbath too. Books that changed my life a bit - sometimes I read them years later and think, "childsplay!" Ha. I'm a child.
I will be going to my friend's house for dinner tonight while Tyler has men from our community group over. I was going to barricade myself in my room with a book, but that's awkward. What if I can hear them talking? What if I have to pee (I will)? So I invited myself over to have dinner with her and her husband. I can't tell you how thankful I am to have relationships like that. I'm going to wear my pajamas.
I think that's all that's in there today. I'm so happy my sister is pregnant. How insane. My baby will just be a little older than her baby. I think about stuff like that now. Oh, our kids can play together. See, I used italics instead of quotes there. Also, saying that I want to take a writing class and admitting that sometimes I imagine writing a book is scary and embarassing, so thanks for your sweet, loving chuckle.
I did set a goal to hang at my yoga studio though. It's this: I will run ten miles a week by May 2014.
Happy Sabbath.
Friday, October 11, 2013
Be callm
Tyler and I both cleaned the sun room last night, and I organized some baby stuff in the baby room. This morning we drank our coffee and ate breakfast in the clean sun room. It was lovely. We talked about what we wanted to do to our house. I feel motivated.
A friend came over for tea this morning, and she brought these really subtly sweet doughnuts, which was great because I rode the bike this morning and needed to get those calories back! Exclamation points.
It's beautiful out. My friend Charlsey sent me a "care package" with the most awesome stuff in it. She is a gift giver. I saved every piece of wrapping, because the presentation was just... detailed and perfect.
I told Tyler we had to use the Boxer onesie right away, because it's infant size. He agreed - it must be used immediately. Wipe that baby off - onesie on.
I'm going to go enjoy this day. Peace.
A friend came over for tea this morning, and she brought these really subtly sweet doughnuts, which was great because I rode the bike this morning and needed to get those calories back! Exclamation points.
It's beautiful out. My friend Charlsey sent me a "care package" with the most awesome stuff in it. She is a gift giver. I saved every piece of wrapping, because the presentation was just... detailed and perfect.
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| The room is still lacking, but the bins are organized |
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| This, my friends, is sage advice from my 9-year-old niece, and friend, Riley Gwyneth Weber. |
Thursday, October 10, 2013
Goal Setting
Last night I took a goal setting course put on by Lululemon Athletica at my yoga studio. Before that, I taught a rockin yoga class. It's amazing what being prepared can do for you... and other people.
Anyway, I've taken this goal setting class before. It wasn't life altering, necessarily, or maybe it was. I think I wrote that I wanted to have a garden and be a yoga teacher. I did both. But that was two years ago, and our yard now is literally a small dog park, not fit for herbage. And it gets no sunlight. Which is great for sipping tea and lowering your AC bill.
Format of the goal class - write your "vision" for a day in your life ten years from now. Personally, that makes the feeling of air rush up my throat, and my heart patter. Then I cough. I'll be 35. Ok, big freakin' deal. From there you take the biggest goal - what they call a BHAG. Big Hairy Audacious Goal (so cute with your BHAGS and tight pants, Lulu) and put a time limit on it - I will have two adopted children by 2023. The freaky thing about it is, you write things down that you may have never said out loud. And then you get this 10 year goal. And then it... happens? Usually, but only if you magnet it to your fridge.
To get to your 10 year goal, you've got all these other little things that need to be accomplished, so make those your 5 year goals. To do those, you've got to have a 1 year goal. And you separate these goals into personal, health, and career. If you want.
So I won't bore you with all of my details of goals, but here is my vision. Ten years from now I have an almost ten year old, and other children of various ages (perhaps five all together - are you laughing?). Two of them are adopted. I teach yoga, and work part time at Connections to Success (ha!). I might be a home school mom, we'll see. I run, read, do yoga and meditate/read my bible every day. My family is healthy - mostly paleo. We sing before dinner. We invite people into our home. My kids are thoughtful. My husband is still sweet. He runs a company, and enjoys it. We all sing and play instruments together. Technology in our home is limited - TV is rarely used in our finished basement, Facebook died with Mark Zuckerberg, and we have flip phones. The pups are aging, and we have a new puppy named Woodrow. Our lifestyle is sustainable. We grow stuff.
I'm sure there's more, but I feel like being done. Somehow, from this, it has spurred my little mind. Today I'm going to sweep/clean the sunroom and move the dog crate out. It will be a clean place to drink coffee in the morning and practice yoga. I'd have my baby in there if it weren't going to be winter. Then I'm going to clean the basement/clean off the ping pong table in preparation for Tyler's bday party. It's on the 26th. You're invited.
That's all. Try writing out your vision in ten years, even if you think it's dumb. It's fun. Maybe you have a business out of your home, or you write a book. Cool!
Anyway, I've taken this goal setting class before. It wasn't life altering, necessarily, or maybe it was. I think I wrote that I wanted to have a garden and be a yoga teacher. I did both. But that was two years ago, and our yard now is literally a small dog park, not fit for herbage. And it gets no sunlight. Which is great for sipping tea and lowering your AC bill.
Format of the goal class - write your "vision" for a day in your life ten years from now. Personally, that makes the feeling of air rush up my throat, and my heart patter. Then I cough. I'll be 35. Ok, big freakin' deal. From there you take the biggest goal - what they call a BHAG. Big Hairy Audacious Goal (so cute with your BHAGS and tight pants, Lulu) and put a time limit on it - I will have two adopted children by 2023. The freaky thing about it is, you write things down that you may have never said out loud. And then you get this 10 year goal. And then it... happens? Usually, but only if you magnet it to your fridge.
To get to your 10 year goal, you've got all these other little things that need to be accomplished, so make those your 5 year goals. To do those, you've got to have a 1 year goal. And you separate these goals into personal, health, and career. If you want.
So I won't bore you with all of my details of goals, but here is my vision. Ten years from now I have an almost ten year old, and other children of various ages (perhaps five all together - are you laughing?). Two of them are adopted. I teach yoga, and work part time at Connections to Success (ha!). I might be a home school mom, we'll see. I run, read, do yoga and meditate/read my bible every day. My family is healthy - mostly paleo. We sing before dinner. We invite people into our home. My kids are thoughtful. My husband is still sweet. He runs a company, and enjoys it. We all sing and play instruments together. Technology in our home is limited - TV is rarely used in our finished basement, Facebook died with Mark Zuckerberg, and we have flip phones. The pups are aging, and we have a new puppy named Woodrow. Our lifestyle is sustainable. We grow stuff.
I'm sure there's more, but I feel like being done. Somehow, from this, it has spurred my little mind. Today I'm going to sweep/clean the sunroom and move the dog crate out. It will be a clean place to drink coffee in the morning and practice yoga. I'd have my baby in there if it weren't going to be winter. Then I'm going to clean the basement/clean off the ping pong table in preparation for Tyler's bday party. It's on the 26th. You're invited.
That's all. Try writing out your vision in ten years, even if you think it's dumb. It's fun. Maybe you have a business out of your home, or you write a book. Cool!
Tuesday, October 8, 2013
Women do it every day
Amanda, I did delete my last post. And thank you for your sweet comment. You made me gulp down a mass of snot and tears. Ok, I'm not doing that badly right now... but. You know.
I went to Connect last night. I was quiet. Here I am, this "mentor" who doesn't talk to anyone. My, how God uses silly people. It was share time, and our facilitator said we each had 3 minutes to talk about where we are right now, and if we needed to say something first that's closing us up, do it. I swear he was staring at me. So I (quietly) said, "I'll go." Everyone cheered. It's a hilarious environment, especially for my thick cynicism. I said, "I'm in my third trimester. I'm so tired. I feel like crap, and I'm having such a hard time being positive... but I wanted to come tonight because it always helps to put things into perspective when I see that other people are struggling too, and still have the strength to encourage others." I said that I was open to feedback. One girl said, "I don't even remember your name, but you weren't here last week and we had an empty chair for you, and you was missed. So even though you didn't feel like comin' tonight, we are all glad your here.... also, your skin is radiant. And weren't you supposed to teach us yoga to help digest our dinner?" Later, when she took her three minutes, she said she was looking for a job... but that if she didn't find one (then she stood up and did a hilarious dance) that she would keep dancing behind the register at White Castle. She's a cool lady.
I was doing all I could not to cry. All the sweet ladies encouraged me, even some of the men. And I'm thinking "what a brat am I!" because I can't get over the fact that I waddle, and sometimes I even walk on my tip toes for fear that my belly will explode (it seems to help), but these people have so much struggle. No one will give them a job, some are homeless... but they have so much hope, and drive. And I act like the world is over if I skip a morning yoga class. I guilt myself over every little thing. Why, I don't know. Our facilitator said, "Guilt is the mafia of the mind." He's got all sorts of phrases. "Enjoy the process" is another one.
I came home after and just cried to Tyler, because women do this every freaking day... but mentally I just can't process it. He said he thinks I just THINK I can't mentally process it. Ok. Regardless, second trimester was great. And now here I am. I'm trying to zip my lips and be thankful, and I am. But I'm doing it through tears, because I'm an emotional freak again. And it's tough.
So... that's all. My skin feels like it's going to rip open. Guess I'll try to pee.
I went to Connect last night. I was quiet. Here I am, this "mentor" who doesn't talk to anyone. My, how God uses silly people. It was share time, and our facilitator said we each had 3 minutes to talk about where we are right now, and if we needed to say something first that's closing us up, do it. I swear he was staring at me. So I (quietly) said, "I'll go." Everyone cheered. It's a hilarious environment, especially for my thick cynicism. I said, "I'm in my third trimester. I'm so tired. I feel like crap, and I'm having such a hard time being positive... but I wanted to come tonight because it always helps to put things into perspective when I see that other people are struggling too, and still have the strength to encourage others." I said that I was open to feedback. One girl said, "I don't even remember your name, but you weren't here last week and we had an empty chair for you, and you was missed. So even though you didn't feel like comin' tonight, we are all glad your here.... also, your skin is radiant. And weren't you supposed to teach us yoga to help digest our dinner?" Later, when she took her three minutes, she said she was looking for a job... but that if she didn't find one (then she stood up and did a hilarious dance) that she would keep dancing behind the register at White Castle. She's a cool lady.
I was doing all I could not to cry. All the sweet ladies encouraged me, even some of the men. And I'm thinking "what a brat am I!" because I can't get over the fact that I waddle, and sometimes I even walk on my tip toes for fear that my belly will explode (it seems to help), but these people have so much struggle. No one will give them a job, some are homeless... but they have so much hope, and drive. And I act like the world is over if I skip a morning yoga class. I guilt myself over every little thing. Why, I don't know. Our facilitator said, "Guilt is the mafia of the mind." He's got all sorts of phrases. "Enjoy the process" is another one.
I came home after and just cried to Tyler, because women do this every freaking day... but mentally I just can't process it. He said he thinks I just THINK I can't mentally process it. Ok. Regardless, second trimester was great. And now here I am. I'm trying to zip my lips and be thankful, and I am. But I'm doing it through tears, because I'm an emotional freak again. And it's tough.
So... that's all. My skin feels like it's going to rip open. Guess I'll try to pee.
Thursday, October 3, 2013
Negativity
So yesterday was a mopey day, and I let it out a little by drawing a lion with chalk on my bumpy bedroom wall and listening to Sufjan Stevens. I planned my yoga class. It was going to be good, but then...
Then I ran into a person who was very negative. Let me tell you, people choose to be negative, and they choose to do it in order to manipulate you. Maybe they don't realize it. But I do. When I'm feeling negative, I want someone to do it with me so I don't feel as bad. I want them to agree that the world sucks and people are stupid. Even now, I want you to agree with me that this lady was stupid. But I'll stop there.
What I will tell you is that words are precious and heavy. Use them wisely. Oh, the temperature is too hot for you? Do something about it. And if you can't do something about it, decide not to drag other people into your muck.
The issue is, positivity with no root is annoying. People who say every day, "TODAY IS SUCH A GOOD DAY!!" Sometimes I'm like, "Why? Today is bad for me." I want reasons. I want someone to give me hope. So I'm trying to be specific... with expectations, hopes, prayers, complaints. Why is something good? Why is it bad? Why do you look pretty? Try complimenting someone on something specific.
Negativity impacts me though. It impacted the energy in my yoga class last night, and that pissed me off... that I allowed it to eat it's way in. Poooop.
But, I have moved on since. This morning I showed up at yoga to practice and it was just me, the teacher, and another teacher, who just so happen to be my dear friends. So we practiced for about 30 minutes, chatted the whole time, and went to coffee after. It was like letting out a deep healthy sigh of muggy morning negativity breath.
Our bar tender gave us a chest of drawers. I'm on a hunt for some badass knobs to dress it up. Seriously, how nice. I love free furniture that doesn't have cat pee on it. We rearranged our bedroom a bit and put our old chest in the baby room. This afternoon Tyler and I are going to look at some recliners/comfy rocking chairs, thanks to my sisters, cousins, and aunt (cash muneeee).
I have counseling at 11. Then I'm going to Connections to do some filing/copying before they move into a nicer building at the end of the month. They have been in a 100+ year old school building for all these years. The toilets are really short. You don't want to get caught in heels when you have to pee.
And I have rehearsal for Desert Voices tonight. I am really up tight when I sing. I'm scared of letting loose. It helps to sip a bit of whiskey, but I don't do that now. A lot of the songs are soulsy, and I told our lead guy that I feel like we took a choir girl and told her to sing like a Black woman. It doesn't work great. But... I'm trying.
Do yourself a favor, get on Spotify, and listen to Sufjan Stevens. It's great for Fall, and every other season. I love it.
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| The lion |
What I will tell you is that words are precious and heavy. Use them wisely. Oh, the temperature is too hot for you? Do something about it. And if you can't do something about it, decide not to drag other people into your muck.
The issue is, positivity with no root is annoying. People who say every day, "TODAY IS SUCH A GOOD DAY!!" Sometimes I'm like, "Why? Today is bad for me." I want reasons. I want someone to give me hope. So I'm trying to be specific... with expectations, hopes, prayers, complaints. Why is something good? Why is it bad? Why do you look pretty? Try complimenting someone on something specific.
Negativity impacts me though. It impacted the energy in my yoga class last night, and that pissed me off... that I allowed it to eat it's way in. Poooop.
But, I have moved on since. This morning I showed up at yoga to practice and it was just me, the teacher, and another teacher, who just so happen to be my dear friends. So we practiced for about 30 minutes, chatted the whole time, and went to coffee after. It was like letting out a deep healthy sigh of muggy morning negativity breath.
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| Sometimes I feel like this cat, except I don't make anyone laugh. |
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| Still working on the ambiance.... why are all the lights in my house yellow? I want them to be white. I think. |
And I have rehearsal for Desert Voices tonight. I am really up tight when I sing. I'm scared of letting loose. It helps to sip a bit of whiskey, but I don't do that now. A lot of the songs are soulsy, and I told our lead guy that I feel like we took a choir girl and told her to sing like a Black woman. It doesn't work great. But... I'm trying.
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| 28 Weeks. It's in there, we know for sure. |
Oh, and another rule for my list: Don't taint Chai Lattes with espresso or pumpkin or vanilla or anything. Just drink a Chai Latte.
Happy Thursday, you all.
Wednesday, October 2, 2013
You know those rainy dark mornings... where you just want all the lights out, maybe music playing quietly, but the sound of the rain is really what you want in your ears. You wish the sun would stay hidden so that laying on the couch all day felt right. But then the sun comes out, and all you've been is lazy. I kind of just want to freeze time, and then skip to the evening when the sun is down.
That's been Wednesdays for me. It's amazing. When I worked I'd say on Tuesday nights "Tomorrow is already Wednesday!" and now I say to Tyler "It's only Tuesday."
Ah well. Maybe because Wednesday was always my day off, something in my body is like "don't move. You've beeing moving constantly since last Wednesday."
...
Ok, I forced myself to go to yoga. I actually text messaged Rachel and said, "Tell me to go to yoga. Tell me how good I'll feel." She did. So I went.
The baby room is coming together. Slowly but surely. Registering for stuff is frustrating, because it seems that Target is always out of stock. And then I feel like a jerk for complaining about the opportunity to get free stuff from people, and whether the color will be right. All I want is a sweet baby. It can be naked. It doesn't need the right Boppy cover.
I get this email every morning about my pregnancy's status. It told me to count kicks in the morning and at night. That's like telling someone to count the movements of a tiny hip hop dancer. So, NO. I won't do that. I will just appreciate it and smile. Gosh, it's sweet.
Ange and Bob will be here this weekend with Sweet Audrey. This, I am very excited about.
I never said anything about my baby shower. It was perfect. I have a sweet family and sweet friends. We just talked and ate and drank coffee and opened presents. I cried, because it really is a super humbling thing for people to spend their hard earned money or their useful time getting/making a gift for you. And throwing a party for you. All I did was get pregnant. It's just crazy. Yes, a sweet child will come of this, but really it has nothing to do with me. Ok, it has a little bit. But, you know? Showers are just really thoughtful. I wonder if they have them in other cultures. I bet it's a 9 month party. I'm glad we don't do that.
A while ago I thought when I went into labor I'd invite all my friends over. What a fool I can be.
Ok, time to move along my day.
That's been Wednesdays for me. It's amazing. When I worked I'd say on Tuesday nights "Tomorrow is already Wednesday!" and now I say to Tyler "It's only Tuesday."
Ah well. Maybe because Wednesday was always my day off, something in my body is like "don't move. You've beeing moving constantly since last Wednesday."
...
Ok, I forced myself to go to yoga. I actually text messaged Rachel and said, "Tell me to go to yoga. Tell me how good I'll feel." She did. So I went.
The baby room is coming together. Slowly but surely. Registering for stuff is frustrating, because it seems that Target is always out of stock. And then I feel like a jerk for complaining about the opportunity to get free stuff from people, and whether the color will be right. All I want is a sweet baby. It can be naked. It doesn't need the right Boppy cover.
I get this email every morning about my pregnancy's status. It told me to count kicks in the morning and at night. That's like telling someone to count the movements of a tiny hip hop dancer. So, NO. I won't do that. I will just appreciate it and smile. Gosh, it's sweet.
Ange and Bob will be here this weekend with Sweet Audrey. This, I am very excited about.
I never said anything about my baby shower. It was perfect. I have a sweet family and sweet friends. We just talked and ate and drank coffee and opened presents. I cried, because it really is a super humbling thing for people to spend their hard earned money or their useful time getting/making a gift for you. And throwing a party for you. All I did was get pregnant. It's just crazy. Yes, a sweet child will come of this, but really it has nothing to do with me. Ok, it has a little bit. But, you know? Showers are just really thoughtful. I wonder if they have them in other cultures. I bet it's a 9 month party. I'm glad we don't do that.
A while ago I thought when I went into labor I'd invite all my friends over. What a fool I can be.
Ok, time to move along my day.
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