I just got to spend some time with my dear friend Lauren. I mostly whisper-talked, because I lost my voice. She ended up whispering back. It was a very quiet meeting, and it was lovely. Kind of dark outside, puppies asleep, sky on the verge of spilling over.
Anyway, I expressed my fears of having a baby to Lauren - not even the actual birth part (I'm an ignorant fool, I know. It's ok to say that) but the part where the decisions you make may not match those of other people... people you even love, and care what they think. From where the baby is born, to it's middle name, to the way you clothe it and feed it.
When you choose to do things differently, it's automatically offensive to people. Also, I'm a newbie, so doing things differently scares me because there are so many other people with experience. I guess the worst thing is that they may look down on me, or be like "poor, dumb girl." Doing things differently suggests that you think others did it the wrong way.
I think in general, people do lots of things because it's what everyone does. No one wants to be looked down upon, or condescended to. Or weird. If I'm very passionate about something, I'm going to do all that I can to stick to it. If you don't feel that way, ok, it's just a big deal to me so I want to do it.
I like to dip things in ranch. If ranch isn't available, I probably won't order something that can be made or broken by ranch dressing (in my opinion). You think that's silly? I like my pizza with ranch. It's ok to think it's silly, but there's no need to try to convince me that pizza is good by itself. It's fine by itself, but it's better with ranch. To me.
I seek your advice, my friends. I'm not one to keep secrets about my life. I don't want to hide anything because I'm not ashamed of it, I'm just dreading trying to explain myself... because it will suggest that I think my way is better. And I do. For me.
And, I used to like ranch dressing. I don't really like it anymore.