Monday, June 23, 2014

Travel and stuff

I'm (still) reading Notes from a Blue Bike. She's a blogger, a writer, mom, traveler.

We went to Springfield this weekend for Lacy's baby shower. The shower was what you'd pin on Pinterest, or see on a blog. It was insanely perfect, outdoor... I won't even describe it, just click this link. And be amazed, not only at the decorating but also the photography.

After the shower, a couple of us girls just chilled out, went to dinner, and had a sleep over... oh, plus Leon. Tyler was camping with Dustin. It was his first time away from Leon, and he missed him a lot. I missed Tyler a lot because my arms were tired. And because I like him.

Anyway, I've been reading that book and she's talking about her travels. Her and her husband both work from home and they make their life so that at any moment they can up and fly/drive away with their three kids. I follow her on Instagram, and she's currently in Italy with her husband and no kids on a writing thing.

I'm just thinking some thoughts, okay. I have always known that if you want something, go get it. Work for it. I see people knit, and I know that if I don't practice, I won't knit. Truly, I don't care that much. Maybe I'll learn how if I break my foot or something. But traveling. It would be cool to travel... to somewhere I've never been. There is a lady from church with four kids and her and her husband go on road trips across the US. With four young kids. I get car sick. And I kinda hate planes.

As I read this book I get all pumped and I'm like I WANT TO EXPERIENCE CULTURE!!! Tougher with a six month old, but doable... anyway, I can dream. Right now, maybe plan a little.

For now, I'm going to plan some meals and go to the veggie stand when Leon wakes up. And I just read this article, which I really, really liked.

We are tired. We were in bed a little before 8 last night. Today is full of laundry, yoga sequencing, eating light, and coffee sprinkled throughout the day. Oh and I just started shooting Apple Cider Vinegar in the morning and at night. It's good for you.


Thursday, June 19, 2014

I made a list of things to do. Not a normal list, but like a list to remind me of what I can do every single day so I don't feel bored or worthless as I have the last few weeks. I shouldn't need a list for that, but there is something wrong with my brain. It's like I can only work on something when Leon is crying for me, but if he's napping and I have all the time in the world I find myself sitting on the couch or just zoning out.

Yesterday we went for a walk, where Leon took a 45 minute nap and that's all he thought he needed. So that was kind of a bust, but it felt good to be out early in the morning and sweat. I'm teaching him to say "hi" and wave right now... which pretty much means I'm saying "Hi!" and waving to him a lot. He just smiles like I'm magic. He knows what "jump" means, which is super cute.

This morning we sat in our front yard on a blanket and watched my neighbor hoop. She is like a wild gypsy with that hoop. She is several houses down, but maybe one morning I'll have her teach me. Haha. It's enjoyable to watch.

Things I will wash my hair with before I go and buy normal shampoo from the grocery store: water, bentonite clay, baking soda, vingear, apple cider vinegar. None of them really work. Baking soda and clay make my hair feel like it's full of grease and dirt. Just need to get to Lush, but that involves driving and going into a mall, and then getting upselled for shit I don't need. It happens every time! Lip tint. Come on, Shannon.

The new Arcade Fire cd is good. I wonder when we will stop calling them CDs. I love this guy named Ben Moats. Turns out he lives in St. Louis and is friends with one of my yoga teacher friends. I had several of his songs on my playlist in yoga... next thing I know, I have a signed CD from the guy. And my friend said he goes, "So, they're, like, my fans?!" Haha. Weird.

I taught yoga to a group of ladies at my church Tuesday night. Seventeen ladies showed up! It was awesome. I really enjoyed it, and it was laid back and chill. I told them not to make mean faces at me if something I said was confusing. We had a good time.

I took Leon to his Grandma's house to swim in the kiddie pool with his cousin Landon. They were both naked and it was adorable. Leon loves water.

Welp. Later.

EDIT: The list helped. I deep-ish cleaned my kitchen, swept and mopped the downstairs, cleaned up the baby room to prepare for some rearranging, baked cookies, hung out with two friends, and Leon has napped and been so happy today. Ah. Now I am tired.

Friday, June 13, 2014

This week has been an interesting one. I met a friend for lunch yesterday, but about 20 minutes in I had yelling baby. I tried everything. I've never felt like I couldn't console my own child. We went straight to the store to get an amber teething necklace, which Tyler hates. Duh. But... we had the best night of sleep. I love it. And of course, Tyler thinks it had nothing to do with the necklace. I haven't slept this well in 6 months... actually, 14 months. Believe what you want. I love hippy shit. I also got some clove oil, mixed it with coconut oil and rubbed it on his gums. The first time was fine. Second time I made it a drop stronger... he was so mad. He was making a horrible face and wouldn't eat. I always make things too strong.

Yesterday I prayed for God to help me be more disciplined. Then I panicked, and prayed that he wouldn't do it by taking my legs away. But this morning I woke up twenty minutes before Tyler got home from the gym. It gave me time to swish some coconut oil to get all the night rot out of my mouth, dry skin brush (do it!), shower, dry my bangs... wow. I feel good. Worth it. Especially after a night of pretty great sleep. We're going to do yoga at 8 by the river, then Alisha is coming over!! Tonight we're going to Tyler's parent's house for Father's Day.

I wanted to celebrate early. I bought Tyler some fun beer from Trader Joe's, a dark chocolate bar, and I a card. I made a yummy dinner. He had a book study, I had music practice. Also, I sing so much better after I've had a beer. I'm so up tight.

I am walking away from Facebook. If you don't have the messenger app on your phone, it's super handy if anyone needs to reach you. It pops up on your phone just like a text message so you don't have to go into Facebook to use it. I love that. But I deleted the Facebook app off my phone and my iPad. I checked it one last time this morning because I had asked some questions on a natural mama's facebook page. Anyway, I already feel lighter. I give up super easy. If I have a bad day, then screw it, I'll just sit on Facebook until an hour before Tyler gets home, then I'll run around frantic making the house look clean. Lame.

I find myself reading tons of "articles" (I think they're usually blog posts...) about things, and then all I can say is "I read this thing about..." but never actually experience it. I get inspired, and then I go take a nap. No way to live.

So. I'll probably blog a little more. I'll still be using Instagram. Perhaps I'll teach my kid some sign language, or feed him.

Alright. Peace.

Wednesday, June 11, 2014

This morning I reached out to five different people to hang out. None of them could, and that is totally okay. I can't be upset that people can't go for a walk with me with 15 minutes notice. I drove to Picasso's with the stroller in the car. I wore Leon in to get coffee... and I got a scone, because I was lonely? I talked to the Barista about her lactos intolerence. I held my tongue from telling her how bad milk is for her anyway, and most cheese, and just said "ah, bummer." It is a bummer, but part of me wishes I was forced to make healthy choices. Then I'd just accept it, instead of slowly eating an entire bag of chocolate chips, handful by handful, afternoon after afternoon.

I texted someone and said, "can I come over? Don't feel bad for giving me a flat out no :)" No response, but I know she was busy and loves me. The thought of walking by the river by myself just sounded lonelier.

Grabbed my coffee and scone, put fussy teething Leon in his seat. I was texting in my car when three guys walked by, they all made eye contact, so friendly-me smiled. Then they kind of gawked, and I thought if only they knew I had a baby in the back seat, they'd be like Ew. So I drove to the river, sat in my car and texted some more.

Started walking into the park. There was, what looked like, a homeless guy with plastic bags. He seemed nice though, and clean ish. I wanted to know his story. He smiled. I smiled, but then he walked away. I walked the path by the river, looked up ahead and saw some people slack lining. I didn't realize until I got closer that it was the three guys from main street. Now, I wish all slack liners were peace loving hippies, but these guys were immature dummies. I walked past them, not realizing they were yelling at me. I thought they were just yelling because... they were on a slack line. Whatever. I sit down on a bench a ways away. I heard them yelling again, so I looked over. They waved. I waved back, because I'm a mature human being. Then, as I chewed my raspberry scone, I hear "Why can't you sit on this bench by us?!" and "Hey!... HEY!!!" Laughter. They didn't stop. I thought sure they'd just walk right over to me rather than yell, but they never did. I was ready to have a full blown conversation abou treating people like humans. I got up and kept walking because they wouldn't stop yelling at me, Ange called. We chatted. All the while, "Come over here!" and so on.

What do you say or do to people like that? Flipping them off doesn't work. Normally treating them like a human works. And what's wrong with me, to think that young dumb guys would say Ew if they knew I'd had a baby?! That's rude to every mom out there, and I'm sorry. It's the way I see myself, I suppose, and then to have some dumb asses yelling at me. Makes for an all around weird day.

I texted my friend and said "It's one of those days where I need to have an adult conversation, face to face, but no one can hang out." So she face timed me. So thoughtful and sweet.

And Ange said, "Shannon, you have five people you could possibly hang out with. That's more than most people have." I laughed. It's all about perspective.

Maybe I should have slack lined. Last time I did it I was pregnant.

The end.

Wednesday, June 4, 2014


I'm listening to First Aid Kit's Stay Gold and it's nice. Sisters, you will like it. They are girls. Tyler hates girl singers, besides me. HA.

Oh, parenting. Yeah, I don't know anything. I read an article about parenting a toddler. It blew my mind a little. Also, all my life I thought it was "spankin," not realizing that actual word is "spanking," and some people actually call it "a spanking." I thought they were really proper if they called it a spanking.

Someone, very nicely and not intending to correct me or be forceful with their opinion at all (truly. I'm not being sarcastic), said "well, kids should be sleeping through the night by 6 months." I find myself being more careful with the word "should." Leon and I were fine, minus that we wake up sweaty sometimes. Then I went to bed thinking "MY CHILD IS BEHIND!" since he eats during the night and sleeps by me/on me. Tyler said that I needed better sleep. It's true, I wake up and feel like a fat fly bumping into things. A quick cold brew and I'm good. I don't have a job other than raising our baby (I don't count yoga, because... it's too fun to be a job), so I'm just considering it a part of my job to wake up sometimes with my hair drenched in sweat or with a voracious little piglet chomping at my boob.

I read this article, and my confidence was back. I just, very quickly, lose myself. People are so confident! "Things should be this way." Kellymom is my go-to website when I'm not sure about something.

People keep asking "when are you gonna feed him solids?" And it's just a question. That's all. But of course I'm like, "uh... soon? Is that the answer you were looking for?" I'm a weirdo.

Anyway, someone I hardly know had a baby and was having a tough time breast feeding. Her friend called me and asked questions, I tried to help as much as I could... but I could hear the baby crying in the background and I just had a rush of memories from five months ago and after I hung up, I cried. It's hard. Everything is hard, but so rewarding too. Goodness.

So... I guess I'm trying to be more gentle with myself, but also confident in my decisions. And gentle with others. What's that over-used quote - be kind to everyone you meet, because we're all fighting a hard battle. Something like that. Some respond differently, like by being mean, because they've been hurt a lot. I guess I'd rather be hurt and tender than angry and hard. God, keep my heart soft.