Tuesday, March 26, 2013

so much things to say

Tyler and I watch a lot of movies. We put a lot of effort into what movie we will watch. When it turns out to be a bad one, it's equal to just wasting 2 hours of time. Bummer. We watched "Take this Waltz" the other night. Don't watch it. We stopped it halfway through. One the back of the movie case it should say, "This movie is about a really dumb affair." My friend said I should do movie reviews.

Movies I have enjoyed lately: Life of Pi, 180 Degrees South (documentary), Zero Dark Thirty, The Giant Mechanical Man, and... if I think of more I'll let you know. Oh, Pitch Perfect is definitely entertaining, but not life changing.

A girl I know through my cousin, and several other walks of life, just started blogging again. I had just started a post about needing new books to read. I go to her blog and she's got a list! So I started reading an autobiography about Nellie Bly. She faked crazy to go into an insane asylum, and then she traveled around the world in seventy something days.

This morning I looked both ways before driving through a street, but some snow blocked my view. I pulled through and this jeep got close to hitting me. They honked for a long time and stared at me as I drove away. I so much wanted to work things out. Like, hey person. I know it's a cold Tuesday morning, but did you see there was a huge pile of snow and a parked car obstructing my view? I apologize, but can you please be nice to me?

I have a conference call in a few minutes. I hate taking conference calls at home because I feel all relaxed and I'm drinking coffee. I want to be like, hey guys, I'm wearing yoga pants and a big flannel shirt. My coffee mug says "coffee makes me poop," on it. And I want to tell them how cute my puppies are, snuggled on their bed.

If I stop moving, I will die. I take three days off of yoga and I can hardly move. I have to keep moving. If I stop moving my bones will fuse together and I'll snap into pieces. Just some cold facts for you.

Also, I drank some psyllium yesterday. It is hard to swallow. It's little husks that you put in water. They can swell to ten times their size, so you have to drink it almost immediately. If there isn't enough water in it, you can choke or it can clog your colon. But I drank enough water. I know this, because it makes the best poo. You've got to try it. It's like draino for your colon.

I have an oil change at 10:30, and my bumper is kind of hanging off from when I drove over some snow yesterday. I didn't even know it until somoene at work told me.

I think I want bangs. I'm bored. But my bang cutter is so far from here.

Tuesday, March 19, 2013

on dying well

One of my customers passed away. His name was Bob. He called me all the time. I'd say, "New Balance St. Louis, this is Shannon." He'd respond, "Well. If it isn't the loveliest TV star. I get to wake up to you every morning. Boy, you're charming. Can you send me another pair of shoes?"

He was an old guy in a nursing facility. I'd always ask him if he actually needed new shoes, because I swear he ordered from me every 3 months. I didn't want to take advantage of the guy. I never met him. He only ordered from me over the phone. He always asked for the TV star. And he always ordered shoe deodorizer for his "mexican cleaner." He told me she really liked it. He was the one who I offered to order a pair of black velcro shoes for and he exclaimed, "Only the gays wear those!"

He told me he'd be buried in a veteran's cemetary, but that Wal-mart was expanding and by the time he was buried he'd be six feet under the blue light special. Every time he ordered a shoe he'd remind me that he probably wouldn't order again because he'd be dead by then.

Well, his nephew called today to see if he could return a pair I sent him a month ago. It broke my heart. Ol' Bob Sullivan was gone. What a cool old man. You know, you can be racist when you're old and it's okay.

I also helped a 90 year old woman who brought her Rottweiler puppy in. She was awesome. And when they left she said, "Give us a hug!" and she kissed me on the cheek. She told me they'd have to burn her body with her shoes because they were so comfy. And she wanted to go dancing like she did in the 30's. Gosh, I'm not sure if I'll joke about dying. I hope I can.

That's it. I loved my customers today. You know if a customer makes you tear up, you're a lucky person.

Saturday, March 16, 2013

I worked a lot this week, and thought maybe I'd leave early today if we were slow. Well. We didn't slow down a single bit from 10 am until 5:30. I started helping someone at 5:25. We locked the door at 5:30 and I continued helping them and sent everyone home. A lady comes to the door at 5:45 and starts yelling "CAN YOU HEAR ME?!" over and over. I excused myself from my customers and opened the door to talk to her. She yells at me, "IT'S 5 O'CLOCK!" I said, "Actually, it's 5:45. We closed fifteen minutes ago and I'm the only one here." It turned out that one employee was still in the store, and she got taken care of. But I wanted to say, "Lady, do not yell at me that it's 5 o'clock."

It was a good day though. A vendor dropped off a case Of Nawgan (?) so I felt smart and hyper all day.

Customer service really shows you a clear picture of the depravity of man - in yourself and the way you treat people, and in the crazies that you are serving.

The end.

Thursday, March 14, 2013

Breakfast for dinner

Last night, Tyler started convulsing in the middle of the night. Don't worry. Keep reading. I thought he was crying... but he was laughing. He was laughing so hard. I knew he was asleep, so I tried to act like I was talking to a baby... likely how my parents spoke to me when I slept walked all the time. I said, "Babe, you're so silly. Why are you laughing?" He, between gasps of laughs, said "I just have the giggles." Then I asked him to tell me what he was laughing about. He said, "Hahaha... haa.. hehe, ohhh.. can I just explain later?" I told him he wouldn't remember later. And he doesn't. He just kept saying he had the giggles. The laughter happened several times throughout the night. I want to dream like that.

Here's the freak in headstand. What a cutie. 

I bought a bigger collar and leash for my pup. I hadn't had a chance to try it yet. I had no idea what a piece of crap he would be on the leash. 

He does not budge. It is so cute though.

I slept horribly last night. I think because I had some lemon ginger ice cream right before bed. I couldn't stop thinking about high school and college - the bad parts of it. It was a depressing night. I have, since then, sworn off ice cream. I even thought/prayed the Serenity Prayer. Sometimes it's all I can do. And think to myself, "God loves me, and so do a few other people."

Oh, we had breakfast for dinner. It was life changing.  

Tuesday, March 12, 2013

sink holes, puppies, yoga. starbucks.

I was in the Starbucks drive thru. I'm new to this stuff, and drive thrus make me nervous. I don't know if I should say a double, or two shots, or if they already put two shots in. After I ordered, I couldn't remember of I said soy or not. Or Carmel or vanilla. Or two shots or an extra shot. I couldn't find my gift card.

Anyway, I found my gift card in the nick of time (?) and then the guy is like "the woman in front of you paid for your drink." I was like "no way!" And pulled off. Then I realized I didn't stick with the cool Starbucks thing and pay for the person behind me.

Drive thrus. They make me nervous.

Ol' Rust likes to follow me to the bathroom upstairs every morning. It's pretty sweet. He climbs stairs like a dummy. I love it. 

I've been working on side crow

it burns the IT bands for sure

Yesterday I blogged this, but it didn't post. But then Amanda left a comment on my draft? I'm confused. Regardless. 

I'm off work today. I made a list of things to do. That helps me. 

I've read a few stories about sink holes. A guy in Florida died when he fell into one that was under his house. A guy here in Creve Coeur fell into one on a golf course - 18 feet deep! Ah! He lived though. 

I have a work conference call, and breakfast with Allison in a bit. I like days off. 

Sunday, March 10, 2013

Day Timing

When I was growing up, my mom had this massive "Day Timer." She wrote everything in that thing. My stuff too. I would think, "Why do you need to know when I have choir practice?!" or something... I'm pretty sure she never wrote choir practice down. But lately I've been wishing I had a day timer. A place for every compartment of my life. It's getting busy, and there's only 2 of us. So I guess with 7, one will find a reason to write it all down to feel, in the least, like they have some sort of control. I feel that need.

In other news, there is this seasonal tea from Trader Joe's. It's Vanilla Cinnamon Black Tea. There is a lemur drinking tea on the box. The tea smells so good, you would think it would taste equally as tasty... it doesn't, but it's still really good. The smell is so comforting. Everyone, expect to get a box at Christmas. I stocked up and got the last four boxes... at a discounted price even! Because I mentioned to them that I found a piece of plastic in my sushi the day before. Their sushi is absolutely horrible. So anyway. The tea is good. 

I'm in love with my dogs. And Tyler. Spring is here. All this rain will make everything green. And then we can wear shorts and go to sleep when the sun is setting.   

We took care of 4-year-olds this morning at church. Here are some memorable lines from kids:
"Well... but, God has a really boring job."

I told a kid to draw a picture of his favorite things. He wrote:
Poooooppeeee Buchex 

Translation: poop, pee, butt cheeks. 

But then there are kids that say really sweet things, and sometimes they can even be deep on accident. I like that age. 

We're going to go Fondue with our community group now. 

Tuesday, March 5, 2013

A Poop Story

I came home early today. I excitedly walked into my sunroom, dropped my things in the kitchen, ready to cozy up with a book. I noticed a different kind of dog smell that got worse as I neared the dog room.

Ah, there it was. The sweet smell of smashed, splattered puppy poop. Charlotte slammed herself against the crate door, just as any normal genius dog would. "Mom, get me the heck away from this puppy poop. It's the worst. I never did this to you. Look how perfect I am," in her manipulate dog tone.

I let them both out of the crate. Russell had splats on his back like he had rolled in it. How could he not have? It was all over the crate.

I bathed the dogs. Threw their blanket away (sick). Rinsed out the crate with a mostly frozen hose. Vinegar and watered the floor, crate, etc.

And threw my back out.

Here I am, finally, on the couch. Except minus the book, plus a bag of chips (and washed hands).

Also, after I bathed Russ, Charlotte ever so obediently hopped in the tub.

Now they're on their bed next to Dr. Oz. Russ is sitting cutely on Charlotte's butt. Guys, he's going to be huge. It's good to eat your greens, but I will never feed Russell Brussels Sprouts again.

Monday, March 4, 2013

Party is over

Good evening... I write to you from my warm red couch with a pile of blankets on it, after going to bed the last two nights at 12:30 am and 2:30 am.

Friday night Tyler had a work party at Demo-Ball. You ride around in go-carts/bumper cars and essentially play basketball (in that there are baskets at each end of the court) and use Lacrosse rackets (?) to throw wiffel ball around until you hit the backboard or make it go into the basket. I only played one game, and then I talked with the boss's wife a bit... it was a small dash of fun, but/and I'm glad to have met all the people from his office.

The Stewarts got into town shortly after. We stayed up sipping Manhattans and laughing a lot. I miss them.

We went to Benton Park Cafe after yoga the next morning. It was a good time.

Dustin is good at taking photos. 

and being in them. 

I like it when my friends take pictures of themselves and put it as my background and screen saver.

Beer and cheesecake, Sunday afternoon cleanse. I love having friends that are like sisters. 

Allison got me a coffee mug that says "Coffee Makes Me Poop," and Lacy crocheted me a koozie for my coffee mug. It's brown with a button. People brought me wine... and whiskey. And starbucks cards. I couldn't believe it.

So the party really is over now. I'm 25. That's my weekend. You're welcome, Manda. 

Friday, March 1, 2013

It's still snowing, but only supposed to get a half inch today. I need some sunshine.

I taught seven ladies yesterday at The Academy of Dance. It was interesting. Always difficult when you're not on your own turf. Fluorescent lights that hum. Enya. Tumbling mats instead of yoga mats. And so on. People are terrified of what they don't know. Comfort is so damn comfy. And when comfort gets taken away, there's blame... which comes in the form of people thinking you're the devil if you said "right leg" instead of "left leg." It happens sometimes. Or mean looks.

Tyler just said the nicest thing to me, I think. "I love it when I hate a song, and then I hear you sing it and I start liking it. Like that Will I Am song." Reminds me of when we were dating and I was worried about singing in the car. Or that I always wore a ponytail holder on my wrist to cover up a mole... that occasionally a black hair grows out of. I called it my witch mole. I thought my hands were ugly. All these little things that only add to a person. Oh, my. He just called me an optimist. I love it when people see things in you that you don't see in yourself. It's nice.

Charlotte just ate a cookie off a cookie sheet. Tyler said, "I think one of the dogs got a cookie." I yelled from the other room, "It wasn't me! I promise! I thought about it, but I didn't do it!" It felt weird to be defending myself from Charlotte. Because it is weird.

Well. I need to tell my brain that I'm going to work, because it thinks I'm staying home and blogging all day.