Tuesday, February 26, 2013


I had a great birthday weekend. It felt so good to wake up to the heat blasting, my brother asleep on my living room floor, pups howling to be let out to play and running up and down the stairs, pregnant ange and bobby boy, my mom and dad, coffee. Fellowship. If the world ever starts to end and my family needs a place to live, I'd love for them to all live in my house. What fun. It's like camping. But they'd probably live at mom and dad's... oh, too much thought into this.

We ate at Modesto, a tapas restaurant. It was amazing. Mom, ange, Zach, me, and Tyler went to yoga on Saturday morning. It was fantastic. But poor Ange in Cobra Pose... belly doesn't want to be on the floor. It's cute.

I started The Aztec Diet, kind of. It focuses on chia seeds because they keep you full, and they have more protein than meat and more fiber than... Things with fiber. I was so full yesterday. I had a smoothie that lasted me from breakfast through the afternoon, I had an orange, an avocado, and then some quinoa after yoga in the pm. For me personally, when I'm full I do not want orange crackers or Mountain Dew. Also, I had so much energy. When I make a schedule at work I feel sluggish and want to go to sleep, because scheduling is a brain suck. I made two yesterday and realized last night the energy I had all day. And slept great.

The kids ad Modesto. Zach. Cool ZAC.

More kids at Modesto.

This is just the Wheeler Kids and the Ramey kids at Zia's on The Hill. What fun. 

The girl behind dad kept making eye contact with me. Thanks, shoulder angel. See, Ramey kids.

A shot of my caramel latte on my bday... what a good day.

just us two at Modesto. It was an enjoyable night. We all party hard. 

Today lots of good things happened. Today is Tuesday the 26th. I added these pictures to this post on Sunday I think. I ordered Elena Brower's book The Art of Attention, which will be here tomorrow. I borrowed a book from Zach, Relax and Win. It tells you how to fall asleep in three minutes. And of course, I'm reading the Aztec Diet. 

I watched a video by Elena Brower, and I'm going to sort of use it for one of my yoga classes. At work, I keep hearing people exclaim, "Oh! Of course we don't have the size!" as they look for a shoe for a customer. Or, myself... "my back hurts... my back hurts... Tyler, my back hurts." If you don't want to watch, FYI it's only a minute and 8 seconds long, she has "Mindful Smacks" occasionally. This one is about stopping complaining and saying "can I change this? and if I can, what can I do besides complain about it?" or that's what I take from it. I like it. It hit me. 

This morning in yoga (today is Blue Bird Yoga's 2nd birthday) I did a pose I've never fully done before. Two years, and I finally did it. It was emotional. Like when I had lock-jaw in high school and it came out in the middle of volleyball practice and no one cared... so I cried for joy alone. That is what happened today. No, literally I teared up on my mat. I've been doing this shit for two years, and finally I am noticing... because I'm paying attention... that I can do things I haven never done before.... like not out of pure flexibility, or muscle, but because I've been trying. Like this guy... watch it. 

Then one of my employee's got 100% Secret Shopper report. A customer wrote a blog post about me (a positive one, about how I made her feel respected, so she respected herself - she's lost 130 lbs!), and more great things happened at work. I finished up the day with the Shead's at Trailhead. Now, just waiting for my man to get home. 

I teach a class in a town nearby on Thursday morning for 6 ladies. I hope it goes well. I will likely be teaching there this Summer. We shall see...


Friday, February 22, 2013

Yesterday we took a trip to Jimmy Johns for a sandwich. They were closed because of the storm. So we decided to go to IGA because their food is amazing. So I had breakfast and lunch from them. Anyway, we ended up pushing the lady's car through an intersection. Tyler tried by himself, but he needed my help :) we picked up a pack of PBR and went to the Summer's house. We watched The Business of Being Born. Tyler definitely cried. Not sure if it was because of the miracle of life, or if he was reliving 8th grade Sex Ed movie, The Miracle of Life.

We went to dinner at The Pine Room, which is always a mistake.
Then we watched Argo. That movie stressed me out, but I'm a better person for it.

This morning my brother text messaged me to say he missed his flight. It reminded me of the time I missed my flight to go home, which ruined a date with Kristi Bowers and my mom was sad. I was so sad. beyond sadness. Nothing could pull me out. My face was stuck sad. Over a couple of hours! Those were dark days. So Zach gets in at 11pm tonight. Which only means we will be partying very late.

I think I will let my friend take me to coffee. And continue to thoroughly enjoy the rest of this weekend. Oh here's some pics.

Thursday, February 21, 2013

The best birthday yet

You guys, today is Thursday the 21st. It's not my birthday. Tomorrow is (and George Washington's, God rest his soul). I got up at 5:40 this morning and Tyler and I went to yoga. I picked up one of my employees for work, since today is supposed to be a wintry mix of snowy/icy death. We went to IGA where I got a breakfast sandwich (sausage, egg, and cheese... the real kind, like homemade), a cup of hazelnut coffee... and a blueberry fritter!! Ah, but I was starting my celebration early. I went through the grocery store line of people preparing for the Apocalypse, I gave the lady my coffee punch card, and lo' and behold it was my free coffee! I exclaimed, "It's my birthday!" She wasn't really amused, "Oh? Well, happy birthday." I quietly mumbled that I loved birthday surprises and went to my car.

On the way to work, my employee noticed that a sticker on the window of a van said, "I'm only speeding because I have to poop really bad." It made my day. I want to know that person, but not really well.

A couple of things freaked me out today. 1) the Carbon Monoxide detector started going off this morning. But then it started beeping the "malfunction" noise, and Tyler asked me if we were going to die. I said I didn't know, and unplugged it. When I came home the dogs were still alive, so I think I'm okay. 2) People act like this snow storm is the end of the world. There is a very eerie darkness to it. But I will say that as the sleet hits hard on my roof, it's like the sound of silence. Somehow it mutes the noise of the everything. All you hear is sleet... and puppies fighting in the background. It's beautiful.

It reminds me of my 17th birthday when my brother took me to The Bookmill in Massachusetts. A few feet of snow on the ground, full moon, 11:30 at night, and an old mill made into a book store/coffee shop. The stream was rushing through the mill. I got hot chocolate and a chocolate chip cookie, which I asked them to microwave and then proceeded to drip chocolate chip on my white ski coat. You could hear the silence outside, and it was like magic. My brother says so too. I think I've mentioned this magical place before. Excuse my repetition.

3) Politics. I have a political activist at my store who tells me about the economy, drones, oil, jobs, housing, small businesses, taxes... I feel like I need to hide in a bunker, lest I be shot by a drone!

Between all these scary things, I had a feeling I would die sometime today. The day before my 25th birthday. They would say, "Ah, she hadn't quite matured yet, but she was funny sometimes. She was good at yoga, but drank too much beer. God rest her soul. Died on George Washington's birthday. Her husband is very handsome."

I did go into work this morning, but then my boss called and said, "You know those big, orange... uh, MODOT, Missouri Department of... services.. Uh, the big salt trucks. They're orange. They throw salt." I had said "yes" at least seven times by now. "Well, it's snowing and they're out now. Close up shop." We open at 9:30. It's was 9:40. Sometimes I just have to choose not to think or dwell on anything and just be glad I was forced to take a day off. Four day weekend, yes please.

Last night I taught two classes - basics and college night, which is more intermediate I guess. I had a couple of people come up to me and very specifically tell me what a great class it was. I felt good about it. The second class is weirder. The energy is weird, because college kids are weird. They're too cool, or maybe I just think they are. Regardless, the energy is weird in the room. I was a little more insecure. I told everyone to twist the wrong way in a pose. Tyler looked at me with a panic face like, "You're teaching it wrong!" so I had them hold it for about 7 seconds, then told them to twist to the other side. Everyone who had done yoga before was looking at me like, "What?" I started laughing and said, "Hey, just trying to challenge your balance a little bit." So we did the wrong thing again on the other side. It felt good to laugh at myself, and say "Hey, I'm the teacher. I can tell you to lick your elbow if I want." But I didn't really do that.

Whether I live or die today, please know that I feel like the most blessed woman-girl alive. Drones, snow, carbon monoxide. I have the sweetest husband. I would use all caps on the word sweetest, but I don't like that. He's just incredible. I love him so much. I stare at my pups and laugh all the time. I can't wait to do that with our babies. And I have the best friends of all time. Ok. ALL TIME. I feel so honored that my brother will hop on a plane and my parents will drive six hours in the snow to see me on my birthday. I'm so spoiled and thankful. I have the coolest sisters.

Lastly, I'll tell you that A Fine Frenzy has a new CD called Pines, and it's perfect for this weather. You should also listen to the song To Build a Home by Cinematic Orchestra. I used to for shavasana last night and everyone loved it. Peaceful stuff.

that's it. Happy Birthday to me.

Tuesday, February 19, 2013

Alisha, thank you. I got my dress at Old Navy for $7. Allison picked it out. Otherwise I wouldn't have gotten it. I'm a terrible clearance digger, and I stupidly thought that wrap dresses aren't flattering. Allison says otherwise, and she is always right.

Amanda, thanks. You don't need to boost me all the time (but sometimes). And it's not your fault. I read an article about documenting things, and realizing that I've already forgotten things from my childhood... and I'm already twenty-five... made me think I need to document more. I don't have time though, and who wants to read that? So I'd start to blog and be like, "this is stupid."

Time. Where does that blasted thing go? I am 25. The age that I used to think meant you had a degree and knew most things and had babies. I am one for three. I have learned some though.

I always regret the self-checkout line, I won't cut my hair short again, and if you're not sure then just be quiet. No one needs to know everything that pops into your head. Ask people what their story is, even if they might think it's weird question. Don't drink coffee mindlessly. Savor sips and bites. If you think someone doesn't like you, cry your tears and keep loving them.

I've been reading the bible in the morning. It makes me turn the radio off in the car and listen to my brain. Otherwise, I'm hearing "The Hot Hollywood Buttered Nugget" in the background and my concern is about Lindsey Lohan's bills. 

It's nice sitting across from my sweet husband who prays before our meals and helps soften my crusty heart. Sipping the coffee, reading N.T. Wright's thoughts on Matthew, and our pups battling it out under our chairs.

So you should listen to Page CXVI. They're awesome.

We like to do this at night, before human bed time. The giant paw to your left is Rusty's. It really is giant. 

this is a picture of me and my sweet friend in partner yoga. This is right after I exclaimed, "What is wrong with me?!?!" She's got really tiny, cute hands. We're not the best partner-yoga couple. 

That's me flying, and likely eye-gazing. It's kind of scary. 

My 25 year old goal is to be mindful. 

Sunday, February 17, 2013

issues with writing

I've been having issues with writing. I read other people's blogs and love them, I get a little twinge to write, I open up the blog, and I'm like "Barf, this is terrible. No one wants to read this crap." So I close the computer, and now I have about 12 drafts just sittin' with two sentences written.

This has happened ever since I read that we should document everything... and especially ever since I watched The Perks of Being a Wallflower, which everyone should watch/read. We watched it on Valentine's and near the end where there's a little twist, I was nearly gag-crying. Very romantic. Anyway, the kid wants to be a writer and he's writing letters/a book during the movie.

I follow Ann Lamott on Twitter (except that I gave it up for Lent), where she gives her rules for writing. I've read Bird by Bird. I don't follow any rules. I'm not a writer, but I guess I want to be.

One night I had a glass of wine and I started writing a book in my head. I'll not do that again.

Last night was our friend's wedding. We go to church with Jodi and her husband works at my store. They're pretty sweet, and my Tyler (Jodi's now-husband's name is Tyler as well) has been meeting with Jodi's Tyler for coffee and things since he moved here from Colorado. I have a sweet husband. So, my Tyler was in the wedding, which was cool.
I did not get a picture with the bride, but I did get one with this hottie. She is tall and fierce and she dominated the dance floor. She said she realized last night that I never dance. In 6 years of knowing each other, I have not danced.... EXCEPT, for Hannah and David's wedding when I had a fair amount to drink and my signature move was stomp dancing. My feet were bruised for a few days. I'll not do that again. 

My sweet man

And Lauren with bangs. I was in her wedding almost a year ago. She's pretty cool, except when she lifts me off of a chair to take me to the dance floor and shows my behind to the room. Maybe that didn't happen, but it at least almost happened. She is the craziest dancer ever. It's like a demon takes over her body and she's not longer Lauren. 

I took a partner yoga class before the wedding. I was partners with the girl in the peace sign shirt. We did a lot of staring into each other's eyes, but we also did some crazy things! Picture doing airplane as a kid, but with way more skill and technique. 

This picture was taken at the end of Yogapalooza, 30 days of yoga in January. I didn't do it, but I taught it and it was really cool to watch people's practice totally transform. Do anything for 30 days and it will change you. 

Also, at the Partner Yoga (offically called Acro-Yoga) we had to say what was currently in our treasure chest that we would like to share, and something new we would like to put into our treasure chest. Anyway, I was racking my brain with what to say. I don't know what the crap is in my treasure chest. Coffee? I said hard work was in my treasure chest, but that I wanted to put some fun - the ability to fail at something and still have a good time. It took me four times to get up into bird.

after saying, "what is wrong with me?!" I was like, oh yeah. It's okay. Then I got up there. It's terrifying to trust someone. 

Lastly, here is my normal morning. 

If you don't love that, your soul might be black. I'm singing this morning, so I need to go get ready. I will be 25 in a few days. My mom, dad, and brother are coming to visit. The following weekend my Lacy and Dustin are coming to visit, and I'm having a birthday party. Lots to look forward to, lots to look back at. 

Sunday, February 10, 2013

We're having dog issues. This morning Rusty pooped in the dining room, then Charlotte threw up... but now they're playing tug o' war with a shirt and things are fine. But, gross, man.

I read the other day that we need to document everything. There are even things that I've forgotten about my high school/middle school days. But imagine you and perhaps all of those kids you have (I'm not speaking to anyone in particular), you will forget some very specific things. Write it all down. I think I'll start now. Not on here, because it would likely be... too much.

Lastly, I'll be 25 years old on the 22nd of February. I'm throwing a party for myself on the 2nd of March. That's it.

Oh, it thundered this morning while I was laying in bed and it made me so so happy.

Sunday, February 3, 2013

I'm blogging from my phone because Tyler is watching his beloved Deadwood on the computer. This show is so vile. But I made a cup of coffee and sipped it, and small smile spread across my face. Then I got that blog feeling. So here I am getting carpal tunnel.

There is an inch of snow on the ground. Work was very busy yesterday. We helped customers nonstop from lunch until after 5:30. This is normal during summer, but my winter body was like "lady, pick your freaking shoe." I was with a couple that took two hours to decide. They kept saying "how should a shoe fit? I think I'm just between sizes." Similar to a time when a woman asked me how she was supposed to walk. These are valid questions when coming from a 6 year old, maybe.

Ill answer the question. It should fit comfortably. Not like a bathing suit.
And you should walk the way our Good Lord made you to walk. With a limp, or straight. People want answers and they want them to be perfect.

Yesterday a very nice old man came in wearing a US Navy jacket and a cute hat. He was just overwhelmed with shoe options. We talked a bit and then I told him to find me if he had questions. I put my hand out and said "my name is Shannon." He put his fingerless hand out and said "Jack. Pleasure to meet you." It's difficult not to have a wimpy handshake when the other person has no fingers. Man! I wanted to know his story.

Sometimes I'm afraid ill look back at my days of managing people and think "man I wish I had done it differently." I confronted someone about their attitude and now they don't look at me, or talk to me. I hardly rebuke a person or tell them to do something different and they act like I'm ruling the place under my icy thumb.

I don't know how to love people who don't love me. It's hard.

There is a sleeping puppy with hot breath suckling my arm. I love him so. In spite of his crazy eyes.