This morning I reached out to five different people to hang out. None of them could, and that is totally okay. I can't be upset that people can't go for a walk with me with 15 minutes notice. I drove to Picasso's with the stroller in the car. I wore Leon in to get coffee... and I got a scone, because I was lonely? I talked to the Barista about her lactos intolerence. I held my tongue from telling her how bad milk is for her anyway, and most cheese, and just said "ah, bummer." It is a bummer, but part of me wishes I was forced to make healthy choices. Then I'd just accept it, instead of slowly eating an entire bag of chocolate chips, handful by handful, afternoon after afternoon.
I texted someone and said, "can I come over? Don't feel bad for giving me a flat out no :)" No response, but I know she was busy and loves me. The thought of walking by the river by myself just sounded lonelier.
Grabbed my coffee and scone, put fussy teething Leon in his seat. I was texting in my car when three guys walked by, they all made eye contact, so friendly-me smiled. Then they kind of gawked, and I thought if only they knew I had a baby in the back seat, they'd be like Ew. So I drove to the river, sat in my car and texted some more.
Started walking into the park. There was, what looked like, a homeless guy with plastic bags. He seemed nice though, and clean ish. I wanted to know his story. He smiled. I smiled, but then he walked away. I walked the path by the river, looked up ahead and saw some people slack lining. I didn't realize until I got closer that it was the three guys from main street. Now, I wish all slack liners were peace loving hippies, but these guys were immature dummies. I walked past them, not realizing they were yelling at me. I thought they were just yelling because... they were on a slack line. Whatever. I sit down on a bench a ways away. I heard them yelling again, so I looked over. They waved. I waved back, because I'm a mature human being. Then, as I chewed my raspberry scone, I hear "Why can't you sit on this bench by us?!" and "Hey!... HEY!!!" Laughter. They didn't stop. I thought sure they'd just walk right over to me rather than yell, but they never did. I was ready to have a full blown conversation abou treating people like humans. I got up and kept walking because they wouldn't stop yelling at me, Ange called. We chatted. All the while, "Come over here!" and so on.
What do you say or do to people like that? Flipping them off doesn't work. Normally treating them like a human works. And what's wrong with me, to think that young dumb guys would say Ew if they knew I'd had a baby?! That's rude to every mom out there, and I'm sorry. It's the way I see myself, I suppose, and then to have some dumb asses yelling at me. Makes for an all around weird day.
I texted my friend and said "It's one of those days where I need to have an adult conversation, face to face, but no one can hang out." So she face timed me. So thoughtful and sweet.
And Ange said, "Shannon, you have five people you could possibly hang out with. That's more than most people have." I laughed. It's all about perspective.
Maybe I should have slack lined. Last time I did it I was pregnant.