Sorry. Sometimes I write a blog entry and don't post it, because yuck. Who cares? Why am I evil? Why do I think people will care about my opinions? All that.
I'm sickish again. The last post I wrote, I was sick and Leon was sick too. Thankfully he's his chipper self with a random booger. I used the netipot (not the pot, the squeeze bottle) and I felt like chunks of my brain might have come out. It is so awesome and so disgusting at the same time. Things like that, I just have to share with the world.
Leon takes a long afternoon nap. It's nice. Charlotte and I laid on the ground in the front yard. I sipped hot water with ginger, honey, and lemon. Made the mistake of chewing some ginger after I finished the tea. Maybe it will make me well though. I also juiced with quite a bit of ginger. I want to be well so bad. Being sick makes me really mad. I should be thankful it's not worse.
Messing up dinner also makes me mad. I have done that several times lately. It ruins my night sometimes. I'm working on it.
I bought a Himalayan Salt Lamp. It's really heavy. It's literally a rock. I'm afraid to lick it though. It's supposed to clear the air of pollen and crap. Hoping that will help with our allergies, as well as essential oils. I'm not totally on the oily wagon yet, but I'm sure I will be soon. It feels like a big investment at first, which I didn't even do, my mom got it for me for Christmas. I've seen them work in smallish ways, like maybe it was mental or maybe it was the oils. I just need to see a miracle first and then I'll spend $300 a month on oils.....?!?!!?! No. I won't. But I'll spend a little. It just seems like the oily people spend a lot of money. More money than I'd spend on ibuprofen or a copay even. I don't take medicine. I took some ibuprofen right after I had Leon, but again, maybe it was just mental. Nothing can really take the pain away from breast feeding in the beginning. In my opinion.
Anyway. I stopped using soap when I was pregnant. I've only been dry skin brushing. I also stopped using toothpaste. I just oil pull and then brush with bentonite clay. Guess what. It works. Stop buy that shit from the grocery store. Ok, you don't have to. But there is so much bad stuff in soap and toothpaste, which we put in places that have the quickest route to our bloodstream besides injecting it.
Last night I taught a yoga class. I wasn't feeling well, at all. It hurt to talk, and forcing a smile pissed me off. I was just carrying that energy with me and I couldn't shake it. Class was very straight forward. Which is fine. It doesn't have to be mind blowing every time. We were in Tree Pose and my music shut off, because Tyler played a song on our Spotify account at home. I said, "Welp. Looks like my husband is using my Spotify account." And someone said ,"oooooOOO He's in trouble!" That lightened things up a bit. Anyway, I finished class. It was just "fine." You know? I just want it to be awesome every time, but I know I can't expect that. All the students left, I was counting the money and forgot to lock the door. So about ten minutes after everyone was gone, a guy from class came back in. He's probably in his early 60's and he's been coming to my Wednesday night class since I started teaching. He's probably missed two or three times. He popped his head in but didn't say anything at first. I said, "What?!" because I could tell he was about to say something serious. He said, "No.. no, it's nothing. I just. I wanted to tell you what a fantastic teacher you are. Really. I mean, you just. You've grown so much since you started teaching, and you're just doing it now! I was laying in Savasana and thinking about how much I enjoy your teaching. I just want you to know that I think you were meant to do this."
I cried. His eyes got a little watery too. God knows what you need. I really did need that. Sometimes I think all I've done my whole life, all of my accomplishments, what do they matter? I just stay home now. That thought doesn't necessarily bring me down, but it's like... I don't know. Sometimes it feels like I can't make much of an impact anywhere, except for with Leon. Which is okay with me, really. But it just feels nice to be affirmed in areas that you feel you don't matter much in.
Last night Tyler held Leon for abour two hours in bed while I slept. That was a treat. Our boy is sweet and good. On that note, he's been sleeping for a long time and I miss him.