My sweet husband emailed me from work to tell me that Eisley has a new CD out on Spotify. I was watching the Today Show, but too much past 7:30 am of the Today Show is depressing. It's like, I'm watching 98 degrees perform and it's painful. I shall turn it off and listen to Eisley and blog.

I feel like the creative part of my brain is dying. It was growing when I was in yoga training, and it grew a lot in college, but now... now it's getting bad.

Yesterday I got a whiff of something and, for a split second, it took me to a scene in the book Phantastes, and I stood in my office and smiled. Books are so good for me, but I haven't found much to read lately, besides baby books. I read The Little Prince last night. I love that book.

When I open my pantry, it smells like the trailer we used to camp in when I was little. I love it. It smells like wood and bread.

I'm almost 11 weeks along, hoping that week 12 or 14 is the magical week that makes me feel better. Last night we made fish tacos, but while the fish was cooking I found a bone. It was a beautiful creation, but it disgusted me. I couldn't do it. So I didn't eat. Then an hour later I freaked out because I was starving. So Tyler made me some bread with almond butter and jelly, and I lived.

How do I spark my brain? I used to draw all the time during classes, but I don't take classes anymore, so drawing feels silly. I'm not very good anyway. I always draw the same tree with pretty branches.

I need food.