4 years, 100 posts.

It's nearing 10 pm, but I have tomorrow off. I am so happy about this I could cry. Today was rough. I run out of sympathy very quickly for other people. Excuses get old, and my heart gets weary. Perhaps like when your child lies to you, or makes a bad choice. I have twelve children... and we live in a shoe store.

I came home from work early today and finished Till We Have Faces for the second time. What a great book. Man, I love it. What was even more fun was that it's been so long since I read it that I couldn't remember how it ended.

I taught a yoga class, and stuck around to take a class after mine. I stayed and closed up shop with my teacher, then went to Lauren's for an article she told me about and I wanted to read it. All the while my phone was in my car, and my husband out looking for me. Those scenarios always end in relief and happiness masked by anger. "Glad you're alive, sorry you're so self-absorbed that you didn't think to mention to me you would be 45 minutes late. PS, don't sit by me on the couch. I love you so much. I hate you." Those might have been the thoughts going through his head.

It's so cold and windy out that it feels evil. Goodnight, friends.

Oh what a beautiful morning

I took the pups out to poop early this morning and the weather was perfect. Rusty refused to come inside, so they played some more. I caught Charlotte in the act of hopping the fence, to which I yelled "worthless dog!" I'm sure my neighbors think I'm a bad mom. However, I didn't use the F word. It would have felt better. But I gave that up.

I went to Picasso's by myself. I needed something in my tummy before teaching yoga. A coffee alone = the shits while teaching and jittery organs. Not fun. There was some blueberry bread. The Barista called it a loaf. And he kept saying, "the loaf is nice. the loaf isn't too big." I was thinking, please stop saying loaf.

I taught yoga. I did a good job. It feels good to do a good job and have people like your class. For about a half hour after, I'm on top of the world. I feel so honored to be able to teach yoga, and it actually works.

I went to the grocery store by myself. It was weird. I hate it.

It's been a great weekend not being at work. I've spent time with people I love. It got me thinking about my dad who used to say how rich he was all the time. He still says it. "Dad, can I have a $20?" "Sure! I'm rich!" One time my friend said, "Mr. Ramey, are you rich?" and I thought of course he's going to say no. But he said, "Yes! I'm so rich! Because you're my friend." First of all, what a cool dad to have. Second of all, I feel that way. So rich with friends, family, puppies, community. My life is sweet and rich because of the people I know.

PS. Since giving up my facebook I feel so much better. You should try it if you want. I have no desire to reactivate it.

PSS. I think one of the biggest mistakes we can make is assuming that someone has it all together and treating them that way. Everybody wants to be known. No one has it together.

I deactivated my facebook account. I know why. It's because I spent too much time on it. I mindlessly scrolled. Some of my biggest concerns were that my long lost friends wouldn't be able to get a hold of me. I think I'll be okay. My other fear/sad thought was that I wouldn't be able to see my family's/loved one's updates. So here is my plea. Please send me your facebook pictures and post your funny stories on your blog. Text me. Call me. Email me. 

If anything, I hope that I can replace my waste of time with actual conversations, and other things.

Sadly, I was afraid of disappearing. No one will remember me because I'm not currently trending in their news feed. 

OK. So that's a very sad and bleak confession. Whew, identity issues. 

Now I will snuggle my pups and hang out with my man. 

4 Year Anniversary

Tyler planned a night on the town to celebrate our anniversary. We started Park Ave Coffee. He had his first Americano, and now he is an enthusiast. Gosh, I love him. We checked in at our B&B, Napoleon's Inn. Every time we stay at a B&B we take a mirror picture. Holding hands, even.

Then we walked down the street for an appetizer at Square One Brewery

I had a J.J. Neukomm Old Fashioned. It was super tasty, and Tyler had a whiskey flight. I don't think I'll ever drink crappy whiskey again. 

Then of course we had a beer. And some goat cheese artichoke dip.

Then we walked to Eleven Eleven Mississippi for our dinner date. 

This is the outfit I bought for our date. My shirt has horses all over it. I love target.

Waiting for our table at 1111. 

They gave us free champagne.

Our date was Zinsane. From Lodi, mom and dad!

My super handsome husband, looking quite toasty.

Rib eye, filet, zucchini fritters. I got olive oil on my new boots.  

Then we walked to Bailey's Chocolate Bar for dessert. Wearing boots, guys! I'm off the grid.

I had a martini called The Sexual. It is very, very good. Tyler had something mocha. Then we walked back to our B&B. 

This morning I was talking to the B&B lady and she asked how long Tyler and I had been together. I explained how we grew up together and so on. This sentence nearly came out of my mouth: "Yeah, it's almost like we're brother and sister." Glad I stopped that one. Weird. Anyway, she went on and one about how people should live together first and the first year is the hardest. I just sipped the bad coffee and smiled. 

We were young when we got married. We're still kind of young. But I'm glad we did it. I wouldn't change it. If there are good people, Tyler is one of them. And he thinks I'm funny. And he makes us pray and wake up at 6am so we can spend time together. 

We love our pups. Charlotte is so happy with her new brother. Rusty puts out a good fight. 

2013, yo

We decided the day before New Year's Eve to throw a party. My brother was staying with us for a few days, and we had about 25 people over to bring in the new year. It was quite fun. Tyler bought nine pounds of brisket and it was super amazing.

Currently there is a fifteen pound puppy name Rusty who is resting his soft puppy chin on the top of my left hand while I type. It's not easy, but it's worth it. Charlotte is sitting on the end of the couch. She keeps looking at me like, "I used to lay there." Occasionally she'll let out a soft cry, and it's heart breaking. She play fights with Rusty pretty hard, and he always looks at me like "I can't believe you're letting this happen." I try to break up the fights and Tyler says "this is the whole reason we got him!" Like Charlotte is the Queen of all and we bought her a puppy to destroy. He said to me on our anniversary (4 years!) "I love you so much... but you love dogs too much."

I love resolutions. I make a new one every week. So far I have done 50 squats and a minute plank every day. I deleted the facebook app off of my phone because I used it mindlessly, like a drunk who just wants the comfort of a drink in their hand. That's me and facebook. I can't bring myself to delete it, because I fear I'd miss out on my cute family's updates, and my yoga studio uses facebook. I don't know. Tyler, Zach, and I discussed moderation at breakfast on January 1st. We all agreed it's the best way.

I also want to be a better yoga teacher. I'm going to continue reading books and practicing techniques to be a better teacher. Not just yoga books either, but all kinds. I attempt to bring concepts into class. I always use the concept of moving in each pose with a specific purpose, and taking that practice off the mat into our every day. I know when I do things with a purpose, my house is cleaner. I'm a little bit selfless. I can love people better.

My friend Lauren told me about this book called Generation Me. I'm going to read it. You should look it up. I'm going to get it on the Kindle. There is another book called Lying that I'm going to reread on the kindle.

I gave up the F word. Yes, I have been known to say it. I haven't said it in a few weeks, because I gave it up before new years. Trying to use my words and not sound like an idiot. It's not a loving word to use.

Health is another one. Along with working out, Tyler and I are eating better. Trying to. Moderation of course. Sort of trying no bread, oh, except for sandwiches and pizza. Ok, this is not a resolution. It's a thought.

The last one I just added that I always try to do and will continue to do is to be a better friend and have hard conversations that need to be had.

Today is my day off. Tomorrow I will go into the store for a short bit, then Tyler is taking me to a bed and breakfast in the city called Napoleon's Inn (I think). It's in Lafayette Square where we have dinner reservations at 1111 Mississippi. Before dinner we'll get a drink at Square one, and after dinner we'll get dessert at Bailey's Chocolate Bar. He planned this! I love it. It will be a great weekend.

I keep remembering my dreams. One of them was a mean phone call with the customer, and I woke up feeling very insecure. The other, Amanda Weber was driving like a fool and wouldn't tell me why. We each had a cute baby in our laps. I was so mad at her. And last night I could not get my hair into a bun! It's looked really good in buns lately.

I'm a blessed lady with a sweet husband and two precious pups. My house is big, so please come stay in it and we'll give you a warm meal and some puppy snuggles.