20 Weeks pregnant and Tax Free Weekend

Sadly I'm wearing the same clothes in this picture as I was two and a half weeks ago. If you're not sure about my face, that's what I look like when I'm about to cry. It's fake. Don't worry. I already cried today when I told Tyler, "I think I just need to cry... I'm going to eat some cheese." Then I fried some cheese. It's like a cheese chip.

Personally, I can tell a difference from the last picture. I'm bigger. The baby kicks when I poke her or eat something. I actually saw it with my own eyes. It was so cool. 

So, I know that I get crazy sometimes. I remember all of our past sales and of course the one thing that I really remember is the insane guy coming in and yelling at me while I had 13 people waiting to get shoes. I actually dreamed he would come back and shoot up the whole store. I think he was drunk, maybe. He apologized later, but still. Tax free really is like Black Friday. It's ugly, and sales are more important than human lives. I hate it. And I hate people during it. It already started for us earlier this week though, because we're having a sale. If you offer 10% off (that barely covers tax in Creve Coeur), people want more. They'll touch your shoulder, say your name, find something in common with you... and then BAM, you're at the register and they totally make you feel like the worst person ever born when you don't give them a better deal. It's manipulative and dehumanizing. I've had words with customers before, but man, I am on the freaking edge now. I just hope someone crosses me. But then again, that's because I'm all riled up. I hope it goes smoothly and no voices are raised or guns shot. People are just insane, that's all. It's so hard for me to love people that are oblivious to other people's feelings. 

I want to give numerous examples, but I already feel like a negative nancy. I just need to take deep breaths and eat snacks often. 

It's time for me to go teach yoga. Perhaps I'll have some interesting stories for you on the next post. 

17 Weeks 4 days

I had an appt. yesterday with my midwife. I heard the sweet heartbeat again. I laid there staring at the ceiling with a big smile on my face and little tiny, baby tears crowding the corners of my eyes. Such an overwhelming, weird, terrifying, humbling feeling.

I get the same feeling when I feel it flutter. It feels almost cold to call it... "it." Even saying "the baby" feels distant, like it's not mine yet. But it kind of is. At least, I've been the one to feed it egg sandwiches and an occasional soda. No one else. So, therefore, I feel I should give it a name. I just don't know which name to give it yet, and that's tough. Oh well.

I had a management meeting today, and made the "official" announcement, even though most of my company knew anyway. I peed about 37 times during the meeting. Ridiculous.

Tyler is sweet and laughs a lot at my belly, like he's in shock. 

Manda, I'll take you up on that pillow offer. I love my buckwheat pillow, but it's not cutting it anymore. Also, I believe I shall start setting an alarm to remind me to pee. I keep waking up thinking, "I'm so uncomfortable," but not realizing it's because I need to pee.

Anyway, I've been given a load of maternity clothing. I need to sort it all, and then go to the pool for a tan. Man, I love a day off.

Tyler and I are planning a trip to Colorado at the end of August, after my store's big sale. It'll be a nice reward, as well as our last getaway before forever happens.

My mom is planning a baby shower for me at the end of September. You're all invited. It might be a joint baby shower/birthday party for my sister Alyson. I can't steal the show when she's turning 33!! But I'm not serious about the joint party.

I got stuff to do. Just wanted to say hello.

Also, we will not be finding out the sex of the baby, nor are we sharing names... until it's born, of course. I'd love to find out and share the name... but as one of my wise friends told me (I often over-share) "Have this one secret with your husband. It'll be good for you."

Monday Off

Well, last week after Audrey was born, I couldn't be okay staying here for two more days and then driving six hours to see her. I would be like, "Ok, I'll go to work tomorrow..." and then be unable to dismiss the thought of flying to OK the next morning to see her and Ange and Bob. So I did. Thankfully, Tyler was very understanding. Sometimes I don't expect men to get it, and they probably don't. But he did, so I was glad.

I flew in. I texted my midwife to see if I should go through the scanner or do the pat down. She said it would probably be fine, but that she personally would get the pat down. Sometimes it's fun to do things the opposite way you normally would. I love quick and easy. Telling the TSA agent I wanted the pat down instead of going through the machine (I don't even know what it's called. I call it the I-can-see-your-tampon machine, or the throw-your-diamonds-in-the-sky machine) wasn't quick or easy. She said, "SPEAK UHHP, I. CAN'T. HEAR. YOU." I repeated myself. She responded, "What?! It's not a x-ray." I said, "I know. I'd like to do the pat-down instead." We went through this several times. In my opinion, it's not worth it to explain myself sometimes. They said smoking was okay. They said birth control was okay.

My mom took care of Amanda's girls while we went to see Audrey, Ange, and Bob in the hospital. Audrey is the sweetest, most precious thing I've ever met. It could be that I have forgotten what it's like to hold a fresh little newborn, but I'm pretty sure she's just an angel. It's even cooler to see Ange and Bob looking like they've been parents forever. Being a parent brings something out of you that's been there, but no one has ever seen before. It's precious. I got to hold her a lot. She's a good baby.

Tyler bought a car and immediately drove it to Owasso. It's a cute '01 Honda Civic. We needed a car that could hold a car seat besides mine. I don't think it's legal to have a baby in a truck like Tyler's.

July 4th was almost uneventful. No one died, no one yelled at anyone else when they almost died. Kate almost got run over by the trailer. A rocket went between Nathan and Riley's heads. But we all lived. It was a very long and awesome firework show. Even though it was pretty fine, I have a feeling we won't do it next year. Who knows. We'll see.

I got to spend time with Rachel, Owen, and Mitch. It was great to see them. And Rachel gave me pretty much all of her maternity shirts!! My mom also took me maternity shopping, so I'm pretty loaded up for now.

Lastly, the pups got out through a hole in the fence while we were gone. The other day I found a board in the yard with a nail in it. I didn't even think about it, I just moved it so no one would step on it. Russ crawled under, and Char probably hopped it. Regardless, an old man brough Russ to the front door, which let our house-sitter know the dogs were out. By then, Charlotte was already running to our old house, two miles away. Dogs are so smart. But, she ran so much on the pavement that she basically rubbed holes into the fat pads of her paws. They bled a lot then, but they're clean now. It's just sad. And her nails are extra short. Poor girl won't stop licking them, but I'm just glad she's okay.

It's good to be home. I slept in this morning. I'm starting to feel large. On occasion, I feel cute. But mostly, I feel like a large, lazy person. Tyler cut me off of cheese last night. I do eat a lot of cheese. Don't think he's a mean husband - he just wants me to live longer. My baby is an avocado - 16 weeks and two days.

Time to do things.