Thursday, May 22, 2014

Ok, so the other day I was in a group of women. I had been spending time with my dad so perhaps this weird side of me was energized... I don't know. Let me go back for a second.

My dad is funny and weird, and people just either laugh at him or they totally don't get him. You can tell if a waiter is going to like him after he introduces all twelve people at the table to them, and if they laugh we're in. If they are like "... Ok, here are the specials..." then it's going to be an awkward dinner.

Here is a made up example of an interaction between my dad and I... or maybe it really happened. It probably did. Say my coffee is cold, so I go to reheat it in the microwave, and he says "Wait! Don't do that!" in a panic voice. I ask why. He replies, "Cuz. Microwaves.... they'll kill ya." So I either laugh and microwave my coffee, or if I didn't know him I'd be like "this guy is a weirdo."

Back to the group of women. Two girls were talking about putting their cell phones inside their jean jacket pocket (by their boob) and I said, "Oh! Don't do that! That's bad for your boobs... Wi-fi............... It'll give you breast cancer." There was more awkward silence, one girl replied that she wasn't worried about it. More silence. That's when having a baby comes in handy. And this was the point when I went upstairs and stared at napping Leon for a minute and thought about whether I had the energy to cry or not.

I asked my friend Lauren about it. I said, "did you think there was a moment?" and she said "OH! There was definitely a moment." So I didn't make this up in my head. Anyway, I've explained before on here that when I make jokes or comments, I'm normally mocking myself. Like, of course I believe wi-fi from your phone gives you breast/brain cancer. Mostly because I've read articles about it... so it must be true. It makes sense though, right? Anyway. Anyway. Anyway.

I texted one of the girls who wore the jean jacket who nicely commented "I'm not too worried about that" to break up the awkward silence to say "Hey, next time I give you a health tidbit, just same my name in a weird voice. I'll get it." She laughed and said she appreciated my opinion-sharing, even if we didn't agree. She said I had a good heart.

I fear that if I seriously share my opinions on anything health related, and so on... people will be like "Whoa, lay off the heavy conversation." But if I make jokes? Is that better? Not if people don't get my joke that I actually mean seriously but don't expect anyone to take seriously, I guess. So then I think about all this stuff and decide mostly to just be quiet forever and ever. Amen.

Lastly, I did a 30 minute pilates video yesterday and my RIBS hurt.


  1. Even though the waiters didn't know how to take it, I was always proud of his humor. :)

  2. I love your stories. I'm totally with you on the cell phone thing. ;)

  3. I remember Dad telling the voice at the drive thru, "Vicki doesn't want fries!" They laughed.