I do exaggerate, or "quote" people. Change wording. I would never let myself outright lie, and even white lies (like trying to get out of hanging out... saying you don't feel well when you actually double-booked) bother me. I'd rather just be honest, because I hold fast to certain rules. I'm a legalist, turned grace "abuser," and now flailing, rule maker/breaker, inconsistent, preaching, hypocrite.
A little adjustment to a story to make it cooler... well, that just flows right out of me.
Yesterday I said I wanted my breast milk to be magical (for my kid to be impressive to my Pediatrician). Her wording to me was (in a thick Indian accent) "You have very good breast milk. You have perfect baby." Now, that is not a misquote. But I told my friend that she said I had magic breast milk, which she totally did not. Maybe I wanted her to say that, maybe I mixed my blog and her up. I wasn't thinking "I'm going to tell Allison that my Ped said this, and then she will think I'm awesome." Because if your Ped uses the word magic instead of good, well, that just means you're better than everyone else, and that your ped is a loony.
I don't think doctors use the word magic, except Dr. Oz.
It's one thing to say you've had a million cups of coffee today. Obviously, that just means you had 4 cups. Over exaggerating is something I have to keep tabs on for myself. It comes from deep within me, the desire to be perfect, to be special, seemingly without trying.
Here is a true story. Yesterday at the Pediatrician's office, an elderly woman was across the large room, waving and smiling at me/Leon. So I walked over to her and said "I thought we would just come say hi," because old people love babies a lot. She replied, "Oh, you're lovely. You're beautiful. You're wonderful. Wonderful." and she continued on. That's all she would say. Most people just gawk at Leon and ignore me, so it really did seem as though she was talking to him. Then it was like she seemed surprised to see I was holding a baby and she said, "OH! He's cute too!" I laughed, and then my eyes watered, because the woman was very sweet and very nuts. Sadly, her husband came back over and didn't speak very kindly to her. But even if she was nuts, she was sweet.
Then I was sitting on the floor with Leon, because sitting in the chair or standing up was absolutely freaking unacceptable, said the teething baby. An old lady walked in, she was dressed very nicely, looked down at us and her eyes bulged. She was sending a message. At that moment, I wished Leon was only wearing a diaper. Because that would have doubled our trashiness in her eyes. And I just want to be the best at everything.
It didn't phase me much, because she was my typical customer at New Balance. But I said a little prayer that God would let me get old with grace, even if it means I'm insane and waving at strangers and saying wild things and making their day.
Ok, we're going to go outside, because it's so nice I could scream.
PS. Leon is 71st percentile for weight (19lbs 9oz), 79th for height (28 inches), and 80th for head circumference. Healthy boy.