I've been trying to blog for a few days, but every time I sit down I don't feel "inspired." Truly. If I'm not feeling it, I can't post anything and I feel like I've wasted my time... and whoever is reading this.
Well, it's my day off... minus a conference call that just happens to be in the middle of the yoga class I planned to attend.
After my experience at a yoga class at The Yoga Room on Brookside in Tulsa, I have had some doubts about doing yoga teacher training. It occurred to me during the class that all yoga is connected. If I do my normal yoga here and someone goes to weird yoga somewhere else, that person is only going to connect the two and say, "What you're doing is weird. Tell me what's different between the two." My answer would be that I do yoga for health and strength, and I don't get creepy chills when I walk in the door. But really, it's all the same - just different levels of where you take it.
Last night I met with my training girls and we talked about things we were dealing with related to training. Everyone was overwhelmed with the homework. I never seem to let homework bother me, if you can imagine that. But the overwhelming part for me is seeing how what I believe about God impacts what I am learning in training. What does the Gospel say about doing a pose that's a great hip opener, but represents some goddess that people used to worship because she'd represented fertility? I just made all that up, but I'm sure it's out there. I mean, what's the big deal? Some days it's not a big deal to me. Other days I say, "Hey, Shannon. Why are you doing this?"
Well, I'd like to be able to do the splits. I'd like to be strong enough to fold forward and raise my legs up slowly into a handstand (my teacher can do that. it's amazing). But, why do I want to do that? Because it's awesome. And also, it's good for my spine, and I want to live to be old with white hair.
It boils down to health, really. Meditation is healthy, too, and the bible says to meditate. It just depends what you meditate on.
So there. Thank you for letting me come to this conclusion while I type. I had no idea what to think fifteen minutes ago. It feels right to struggle with things.
When I can't sleep, I imagine teaching a class to my sisters and mom and friends in Tulsa in a room in my house. It's a good class, and you guys love it. I'm a good teacher.