Tuesday, August 20, 2013

From somewhere in Colorado

Well. When I was little I remember being upset, even crying at times, because I wanted to be Pocahontas. Or someone in a fairytale. Or even Nancy Drew. Surely there was something more exciting out there than being a little girl who accidentally took a bite of a mud pie or cannon balled into a kiddy pool off of a picnic table (pain). Or didn't know the difference between a dime and a nickel. 

I love change (not nickels) so much, and look forward to things like vacation or anything out of the norm So. Much. Like, more than a normal person. 

Well. 1) How cool is it that I can blog on the way home from Colorado and 2) we ended our odd trip a couple of days early. Let me start at the beginning. 

Our car broke down twice on the way there, and three times while we were in CO. In my mind, we would stay in Boulder at a comfy bungalow (what the Landlord called it - it just means they don't mow the lawn) and drive into the chilly mountains, where weird people lived in small communities smoking pot and climbing around. These communities exist. I've seen them, but it was actually really hot, and our car was broken so we couldn't drive far. Hiking made me dizzy and crampy. The amount of $ we had to spend on the car, renting a different car... These things weigh on my husband's mind. Then they weigh on mine. And it hard core dampers our fun. The extent of our entertainment for the most part was walking in the heat to get food or try out a brewery, which is a slight bummer to me and the baby because we love beer. 

I will say the highlight the trip was seeing Jesse, Bri, and their sweet boy Jack. I'd say they made the trip for us. Dare I say, salvaged. We stayed with them the first night, and got dinner with them the next night. Good for the soul. I love them and miss them dearly. 

We did see some sights. They were beautiful for sure. Nederland, Co is one of those towns where people move there to get away and smoke quality cannabis. There is even a store there called Quality Cannabis. We walked around a bit there. Same goes for Eldorado Canyon. Cool place. 

I think I just wanted to get away from the nearest Target. I want to go to a place far away from work politics. Or... Gosh I don't know. A place where there's just raw beauty, not muddied with anything else at all. Sometimes maybe I try so hard for an "experience" that it's too forced. Or its there but I can't see it. 

But this morning as Tyler and I sat in the middle of a river on a rock, I realized I could have stayed there all day. Maybe some experiences don't hold weight until after they're over. And of course the pictures are a nice reminder, but don't do justice. And somehow I can't clear my mind and leave shit behind. I think maybe when I'm done working things will be better. But then there's a whole new batch of stuff. I need to learn how to meditate. And pay attention to Jesus. 

In other news, this child is a boy and it kicks hard. Like, makes me holler. Maybe it's a girl. But now I think it's a boy. 

Anyway, the sun is setting, praise God. No AC in hopes of getting home in 12 hours and not breaking down. Windows down. My face is asleep and my eyebrows blowing the wrong direction.  And JayZ is full of it, but he'll keep us awake for a while. 

I'm thankful for this experience with my husband, who is sweet sweet sweet. Our babe will be here in 18 weeks. Change is coming, but I know I need to find some peace here. Maybe it's in the flat part of Colorado/Kansas, next to my man with my baby kicking the seatbelt. God is good everywhere. I know it. 


  1. I'm sorry your trip wasn't what you'd hoped it might be. I thought of you every time Lucy barked or Lola cried last night. Hope you're safely home now. And maybe you can enjoy the rest of your "vacation" and just avoid Target the next few days. :)
    I, on the other hand, am craving a vacation to Target.

  2. aw Shannon sorry it was rough! I totally understand though about vacation - I always build it up in my mind that it will be amazing that I will be amazing on it and that everything will be exactly the way I planned it and then I remember oh wait I'm still the same stressed out me on vacation just in a prettier place where I don't have to do dishes which is pretty nice ;)