Monday, September 30, 2013

Extremes

I am an extreme person. You probably wouldn't know it from meeting me once. I'm working on moderation.

In the past, it's been that I was either partying hard with a hangover the next day, or swearing off alcohol. Being a vegetarian, or eating meat every meal. I actually used to make a plate of sausage for breakfast, put syrup on it, and eat it. That's like ten pieces of sausage - had to go with a nice even number. Then I watched a documentary, and wabam. I was a vegetarian. In college, I'd be depressed and not showering or going to class, or getting out of bed, then see my butt in the mirror and, poof. I was doing a million trillion squats and crying.

Slowly I become a little more moderate in my thinking, and Tyler becomes a little more open to "weird stuff" as we go along. God certainly uses specific people to change us, and praise Him, I married as good of a sinful man that one can find. We've been together over eight years. We will probably start to look like each other soon. Last night we said the same exact corny phrase at the same time, looked at each other, and then did it again. I wish I could remember what it was. But then he said, "STOP IT!" And we changed out of our matching navy shirts and khaki pants. Just kidding. Kind of.

Back to extremes though.

Sometimes I want to quit facebook so bad. I want to do a home birth, be a raw-vegan, use cloth diapers, make my own soap (it never works), do a million cleanses, and the list goes on. But eventually that list is a bunch of "don'ts" and "cut out"(s). And in the end, all I am is this person adhering to a list of things I don't do. And certainly, for sure, God made things good and wants us to enjoy them - and humans pollute them with their obsessions. I told my friend the other day, who is very much like me, that our whole lives will be this awkward balance between our extreme to-do list and falling into God's grace. The coolest part is to look back at the last five years and not see how much better I am, but how much more aware I am of God's presence in my life, my need for Him, and the way the Gospel is continuing to become, more and more, my brain-lens. The Gospel being that my sin is much darker and deeper than I can know, and that God loves me still, so much more than I can imagine.

Anyway. I have two hours to plan a killer sequence for my Yogis Unite class. Lately, I can hardly bend over, so I literally do not do a yoga pose in class. I just talk them through it. It's nice. I like being bossy, and then not having to hold myself to the same standard. So fun!

My week is full! It's crazy. The most exciting things I'll be doing: some volunteering at Connections on Thursday and babysitting my nephew all day on Friday. Good practice.

PS. my ribs and my cervix are taking a beating from this baby. Good gracious. We hit a bump in the car on the way home from Oklahoma, I let out a grunt, and said "I think my baby came out a little." Yikes.

Well, sometimes I write stuff like this and don't post it, because I'm scared you will be like "she is so annoying!" I am. Ask Tyler.

Love to you all, whoever you are. Pretty sure my sister Amanda is the only one who reads this.

8 comments:

  1. WRONG. I read it too :) Also, I never think, 'she is so annoying!' I can't wait to meet your kicking gymnast baby. Moderation is nice. I look forward to more of it in the future...

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    1. it's good to know you are out there, Alisha. Out there in the St. Louis abyss. Thanks for loving my baby and me.

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  2. I read It! And I was totally thinking about this today. my extreme tendencies blow up on Mondays...I guess because its a new start so I feel the need to make a list of crazy lofty goals. You are not alone. I made a "no coffee past noon!" rule this morning, but came to my senses and drank a couple cups at 2. :)

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    1. Mondays are the days you need extra coffee and extra grace, Rachel. Never make that rule again.

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  3. I am pretty faithful. You're never annoying, only hilarious and awesome, just all the time.

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    1. Thanks, Manda. The feeling is mutual. Never stop blogging.

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