It's Wednesday. Tyler is in class right now. I just watched The Voice. TV season is so interesting. I don't care about any of this stuff, but it's addicting. Waiting for Tyler to get home to watch Parenthood :)
I went to yoga after work and my teacher asked if I was excited for training this weekend. I can be awkward when I'm asked questions like, "How are you doing?" and I want to say, "Well, not very good... but please don't make me go into it." rather than, "Fine! How are you?!" So I stared at her for seven seconds............................ and she said, "One day at a time?" and I replied, "yes."
I'm dreading training once again. And of course training is scheduled right in line with my freaking period. But, 4 more weekends and I'm done. I can teach. In no way will my life be more perfect. In my head when I think about the "perfect life," having a perfectly healthy body with no aches and pains is in there. I can't do that though, but Jesus did it. And it'll be that way. So for now... I'll just work in that direction with a peace, knowing it'll be that way someday... While asking why my ribs pop in and out of place.
This weather makes me so contemplative. Makes me want to get pregnant and quit my job. But, then I freak out and think that it's just the weather, and maybe if I do that I'll regret it or like I did it too soon. I feel easily hopeless. So what if I make the wrong choice and then feel stuck... silly, but I over analyze everything in a really stupid way. I wish I could record my spoken fears and let you listen to Tyler's responses to me. He's smart.
Also, my friend Lauren (who is smart) told me that Obama removes simple choices from his... choices... so that he doesn't have to waste brain power. He got rid of all of his suits besides gray and navy, and he never decides what he wants to eat....?! Well, that is certainly a presidential luxury, but I could really weed out some of my clothing.
Anyway. I turned off the TV and am listening to Arcade Fire. Charlotte is asleep on the floor. I didn't do my homework for training this weekend, but I feel just as I did in high school and college... I don't care at all. I take what I want from the training. I still mix up Buddhism and Hinduism. My learning style is based on interaction. If you tell me what Buddhism and Hinduism are, I confuse them. If I meet a Buddhist and a Hindu, I will know which is which. But that shouldn't stop me from teaching a yoga class. Praying this weekend doesn't make me cynical, but just more prayerful for everyone there.