Negativity

So yesterday was a mopey day, and I let it out a little by drawing a lion with chalk on my bumpy bedroom wall and listening to Sufjan Stevens. I planned my yoga class. It was going to be good, but then...

The lion

Then I ran into a person who was very negative. Let me tell you, people choose to be negative, and they choose to do it in order to manipulate you. Maybe they don't realize it. But I do. When I'm feeling negative, I want someone to do it with me so I don't feel as bad. I want them to agree that the world sucks and people are stupid. Even now, I want you to agree with me that this lady was stupid. But I'll stop there.

What I will tell you is that words are precious and heavy. Use them wisely. Oh, the temperature is too hot for you? Do something about it. And if you can't do something about it, decide not to drag other people into your muck.

The issue is, positivity with no root is annoying. People who say every day, "TODAY IS SUCH A GOOD DAY!!" Sometimes I'm like, "Why? Today is bad for me." I want reasons. I want someone to give me hope. So I'm trying to be specific... with expectations, hopes, prayers, complaints. Why is something good? Why is it bad? Why do you look pretty? Try complimenting someone on something specific.

Negativity impacts me though. It impacted the energy in my yoga class last night, and that pissed me off... that I allowed it to eat it's way in. Poooop.

But, I have moved on since. This morning I showed up at yoga to practice and it was just me, the teacher, and another teacher, who just so happen to be my dear friends. So we practiced for about 30 minutes, chatted the whole time, and went to coffee after. It was like letting out a deep healthy sigh of muggy morning negativity breath.

Sometimes I feel like this cat, except I don't make anyone laugh. 

Our bar tender gave us a chest of drawers. I'm on a hunt for some badass knobs to dress it up. Seriously, how nice. I love free furniture that doesn't have cat pee on it. We rearranged our bedroom a bit and put our old chest in the baby room. This afternoon Tyler and I are going to look at some recliners/comfy rocking chairs, thanks to my sisters, cousins, and aunt (cash muneeee).

Still working on the ambiance.... why are all the lights in my house yellow? I want them to be white. I think.

I have counseling at 11. Then I'm going to Connections to do some filing/copying before they move into a nicer building at the end of the month. They have been in a 100+ year old school building for all these years. The toilets are really short. You don't want to get caught in heels when you have to pee.

And I have rehearsal for Desert Voices tonight. I am really up tight when I sing. I'm scared of letting loose. It helps to sip a bit of whiskey, but I don't do that now. A lot of the songs are soulsy, and I told our lead guy that I feel like we took a choir girl and told her to sing like a Black woman. It doesn't work great. But... I'm trying.                                    

28 Weeks. It's in there, we know for sure. 

Do yourself a favor, get on Spotify, and listen to Sufjan Stevens. It's great for Fall, and every other season. I love it.

                               

Oh, and another rule for my list: Don't taint Chai Lattes with espresso or pumpkin or vanilla or anything. Just drink a Chai Latte. 

Happy Thursday, you all.